Coming Undone

Chapter 5

"We met him last night, I'm not all that surprised you don't remember. You were pretty drunk at the time." She laughed. 

"Huh... well thank you but the idea of moving too fast literally makes me want to puke so I'm gonna go ahead and say no but thank you." 

"I figured, but wanted to invite you anyways" She smiled, getting up to put her plate in the sink. "Have you heard from Ryan yet?" She continued, pouring herself some more coffee. 

I sighed heavily; I'd steered clear of his messages this morning not wanting to read anything when I was half asleep. "No, but I haven't even read his messages from last night." I pulled my phone towards me going to unlock it. I opened up the thread, the last one I did actually remember. I scrolled through them. My heart twisting with every callous word thrown my way. I breathed in, counted to 10, and released the breath. I did it 2 more times before I could feel my jaw relaxing from where I'd clamped it. 

"You're doing your breathing exercises," Paige muttered, concern highlighting her brown eyes. 

I laughed, the sound hollow. "Uh yea, he got a little... ugly." I settled on that word. In truth it cracked my heart, seeing him speak to me like that. You didn't do this to someone you loved... right?

"Listen... can I seriously ask you, why do you stay with him if he makes you feel like trash?" 

I paused trying to gather my thoughts. The usual responses I had seemed empty, like I didn't even believe them anymore. 

"Because..." I began. "I don't know." 

"Then... break up with him." She said softly, she reached out her hand grabbing mine from across the table. 

"When it's good, it's great. Amazing even. Ya know? And then it becomes not great... he can get a little mean, but he's under so much-"

"If you say stress, I'm going to kick you." 

"-stress." I finished lamely. 

"I'm stressed and I don't talk to you like that, hell Jonathan and Cameron are building a company from the ground up which is insanely stressful, and they treat you like you're a goddamn queen." 

"You're just saying that because you want me to date them," I dropped my head in my hands, staring down into my coffee. 

"Partly, I also just want to see you happy again." Her voice emphatic. I looked up at her then, her face showed nothing but earnest love. My throat tightened up when I saw the love there, how many times had I wished for someone to look at me like that growing up. I once again wished I had met Paige sooner in life. 

"Thanks," my voice thick with unshed tears. She patted my hand smiling softly. 

"I'm going to go and get ready," I just nodded at her not trusting my voice. 

___

An hour later there was a knock at the door. I looked through the window not sure who it could be as Paige would just be meeting Seth at the coffee shop. What was on the other side made another fresh wave of sadness wash over me. I opened the door. 

"Hey," 

"Hey baby, here." Ryan thrust the roses into my hands. "I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you yesterday, and for not being able to meet you for dinner. It was all my fault, and I was being a dick for no reason. I'm so sorry." He said, regret coloring his words. 

I gripped the flowers turning as he strode in the house with confidence. He was dressed well, black slacks, and a light blue button down. His golden blonde hair laid perfectly on his head not a hair daring to be out of place. He had shaved recently, his jawline covered with a slight shadow. He turned and met my eyes, the brown of his swirling with remorse. I looked down at the flowers, the flowers were beautiful of course, only the best would he buy. I walked over to the kitchen still not having said a word, I was careful of the thorns while trimming them and placing them in a vase I'd found under the sink.