Shipwrecked

19-Brooklyn

I watch through the window as Noa makes her way down the hill towards the pool where Ryann is, still pouting for what must have been hours.
I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't. I waited and waited until I heard Noa stir and when I got out she was putting out the fire.
I don't have much time.
I rip off my clothes and find my bikini, pulling it on quickly, tying it tight in the back.
I grab everything I need for my intentions, stuffing into the biggest bag I can find.
My wetsuit, a towel, extra clothes, sleeping bag, pillow, food, a jug for water, all of my gear, my bow, extra arrows, a knife and all my other skinning and gutting gear, some rope for tying, a fur shawl in case it gets cold, and the only box of matches I've kept.

I pull on my cut off khaki shorts not even bothering to button them, step into my boots, letting my long socks get bunched up, throw my pack over my shoulder and grab the last lemon bar from the counter by the sink before slipping out the front door being careful not to let it slam in case Noa is still in hearing distance of the hut.

I look around to check that no one is here to see me before scurrying off into the forest, my bow ready in case anything pops out of nowhere.

As I run through the woods I remember my conversation with Ryann.

She was right. I never did have a family growing up.

I mean I had my mom and I had my dad, but they were always busy. They always worked.

I remember restless nights as I sat alone in my bedroom waiting for Mom and Dad to get home, playing with my toys in the wee hours of the night and listening through my door for the quiet whispers of my mom talking to the babysitter, thanking her for her time and paying her in cash.

I remember lonely Christmas morning with no one to play with me and my new toys. While Mom and Dad sat and drank their coffee and watched TV. While I begged at their feet for them to play with me until they finally caved and said, "in a minute sweetie". I waited for that minute but it never came.
I remember all the other kids walking home with their big brothers or sisters or looking after their younger ones, while I sat alone on the bench and waited for someone, anyone, Mom, Dad, my babysitter, to come get me.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

All I did was wait for my family.

And they never came.

And that was why I looked up to Ryann and the girls as family.

I always did.

That's why it was so hard for me to see Shane bully them.

That's ultimately why he ended up betraying me.

Because he knew. He knew what my weakness was. And he manipulated me, and he twisted things and he rubbed it in my face that I had no family.

He tried to become my family.

And when he realized that he never would become my family and I would always run back to my friends he deceived the most devious plan on how to betray me so it would hurt.

By killing my family.

By sending me off with them and forcing us into this shitty situation.

He. Ruined. My. Family.

But I'm a way he only made us stronger.

Me, Ry and Noa at least.

I ran.

I ran.

I ran.

And thoughts swirled through my head.