Book 1: You Could Be Mine (Izzy Stradlin FanFic)

Ch. 18: Sober Sucks

WARNING: Explicit content ahead.

The first thing I saw was Izzy. He was standing up in front of the couch, completely naked, with his back facing Duff and me. Next I saw Slash, also naked, with what looked like ejaculate on his leg. I assumed that's what he'd been "hit" with. Last was Jasey, bent over in front of Slash, also naked.

"Shit," Izzy hissed when he looked over his shoulder and locked eyes with me. He grabbed his boxers off of the floor and began tugging them on. "Abby, I-"

I felt Duff's hand grabbing onto my own. The feeling brought me no sense of emotion. I felt nothing as I scrambled to catch my breath and to register what the hell was going on. I raised my hand up to my forehead and stumbled into the living room. I could feel Duff lingering close behind me, waiting to catch me if I fell.

The closer I got to the scene before me, the more things I began to notice. I saw the white dust, broken down into neat and tidy little lines on the table. Beside that, I could see a couple of syringes and I about broke down right there.

"I need to take a shower."

Izzy reached out to help me but I shrunk away from him and grabbed Duff's arm. I glared at Izzy's bewildered face as we left the living room and walked into the bathroom. I shut and locked the door.

"What the fuck was that?" I demanded.

Duff shook his head. "I thought you knew."

I stared up at him. "Knew what?"

"That basically every rockstar out there does drugs," he said.

I blushed and felt fury boiling up inside of me. "I'm sorry, I didn't know I was the only one not doing drugs on this fucking tour."

He winced at my tone.

"Do you do that stuff too?" I asked.

He looked at the floor, not even saying a word but I didn't even need a response. I saw the guilt on his face, plain as fucking day.

"Great," I sighed. "Get out."

"Abby, come on-"

"Get out!" I demanded, ripping open the door. He looked down at me, his eye brows furrowing. He was testing me and I wasn't in the mood at all. My chest and shoulders heaved with every breath I took and my grip on the doorknob was enough to turn my knuckles white. Finally, he stepped out of the bathroom. I slammed the door behind him.

I couldn't believe this. They were all on drugs. All of them. And now, Izzy had had sex with my best friend. My best friend just screwed the guy I liked. I really let that one soak in for a moment.

When I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes, I hurried over to the shower and started it up, letting the sounds of the rushing water mask my sobs. As the water heated up, I stripped down and grabbed a towel so it would be waiting on the towel rack for me as soon as I was finished bathing.

I stepped into the fog of the boiling water and let it drench me in its warmth. The heat reminded me of how angry I was. Jealousy and fury fought like wolves somewhere in the pit of my stomach, growling and nipping at one another.

Still, my head told me I had no one to blame but myself. It was I who had been too chicken shit to come out and tell Izzy how I felt, it was I who didn't tell Jasey to back off as soon as she started making googly eyes at Izzy, and it was I who was so naive as to think that the biggest rock band on Earth didn't do drugs and have sex and party hard all of the time.

I sighed and scrubbed my scalp with the shampoo. I knew that Jasey was slutty, and I knew that she would chase after guys, but I also knew that she was my best friend, and nothing would change that. She loved me, even if she didn't always show it. Had she known I wanted Izzy, she would've stepped off immediately. Hell, she probably would have forced me into some trashy dress and made me give him a lap dance so I could win him over. After all, it was her who had been so keen on getting me to the club to meet Pierce.

"This blows," I muttered.

When my shower was over, I realized I didn't want to leave the bathroom. I didn't want to face the guys or Jasey. I just wanted to be alone.

I set up a makeshift cot out of towels in the corner of the bathroom and lay down in it, completely naked. It felt good, despite it being on a marble floor.

As I waited for sleep to come, I began to think. There were two ways I could go about this: I could be a baby and cry over it and leave the tour so Jasey could finally be alone with all of the guys, or I could man up and do something about it.

Izzy was living the rockstar life, so of course he went for Jasey. She was a groupie. She would drink and do drugs. I was boring. Lame. I probably acted like an uptight bitch compared to Jasey.

Maybe it was time for a little make over.