Philip The Prostitute

Philip is going on a blind date

(I started this as a joke and now y'all actually enjoy it what.)

"Philip! Philip!" Georges called, shaking Philip awake.

"What?" Philip groaned, shoving Georges away.

"Dick and I are setting you up on a blind date to get your mind off George!" Georges said.

"What?" Philip said, sitting up, now fully awake "I don't want to go on a date with anyone!"

"Come on!" Georges pouted "It'll be fun! Plus they're coming over tonight so it's a bit late to cancel on them."

"Tonight?" Why couldn't you tell me earlier?" Philip asked. Georges shrugged.

"When and where is it? What's the dress code?" Philip asked opening his closet.

"It's here at seven. Wear something nice." Georges answered, sitting on Philip's bed.

"Give me ideas, Georges, besides something nice." Philip asked, moving clothes on hangers around.

"Tight dress pants, t-shirt, open button-down." Georges said.

"Does this work?" Philip asked, pulling out a gray shirt.

Georges and Philip finally decided on an outfit, and headed downstairs.

Their parents had already left for work, so only Martha Washington was home, as always.

"Good almost-noon," she said "I heard Pip has a date."

"Apparently so." Philip said, sitting down at the table.

"I'll make sure that nobody goes out bothers you two. Unless you need help. If you need help scream 'Texas' because nobody likes Texas, and we'll come out and save you." Martha said.

"You're the best, Grandma." Philip said, earning a pat on the head from Martha.

-time skip-

Philip sat at the little table his family had out in the garden. Dick had covered it with a white tablecloth, but you could still kind of see where the decorative holes in the metal were.

Dick had also set up two plates, napkins and silver wear. Apparently, food would be brought out later.

Because it was summer, it wasn't quite dark yet, Philip was sweating, and he had to keep swatting bugs. He wished the date was indoors.

The lights in the kitchen were on, and he could see human formed shadows moving around as his friends put the finishing touches on his and his date's meal.

There was the sound of something metal dropping on the kitchen floor, Will yelping, and then the laughing of his friends. Philip wished he was inside with them instead of waiting for a date he didn't know, and probably wouldn't like.

There was the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, and Philip perked up a bit. He could hear Georges yelling in greeting to them, and the slam of a car door.

Philip fiddled with the end of the table cloth, anxious.

The backdoor opened and Georges stepped through, dragging Philip's date behind him.

Philip recognized that face.

This had to be a fucking joke.

It was George Eacker.