Philip The Prostitute

Philip gossips with a penis

"Hey, Dick." Philip said, flopping down in the seat opposite of Richard Price.

"Look who decided to show up!" Dick exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I'm two minutes late."

"Two minutes where I could have been telling you about this one guy I have sex with!"

"Ooh, do tell." Philip said, waving the waiter over and ordering them both sandwiches.

"Ok, so his name is David-" Dick started.

"Sexy." Philip interrupted.

"I know, right?" Dick said "So I met him at a bar and offered to ride his dick-"

"I didn't need to know that detail." Philip interrupted again.

"Stop interrupting me." Dick said "But now he has me over like basically ever day. And he's rich, and handsome, and he's super sweet when you get to know him, and like, I think I might go after a more permanent situation."

"Permanent situation?" Philip asked.

"I'm gonna ask him out on a date. I want to be his boyfriend."

"Wait, how long have you know him? Because if it's only been a few days he could be a serial killer, or-"

"About three months. Is that long enough to know someone before asking them out?"

"Do you guys like actually talk, or is it just sex?"

"Sometimes he brings me to fancy rich people events as his date, so we do actually talk, and sometimes I just hang around his penthouse."

"Two questions: 1. If he brings you to those events, aren't you two already going on dates? And 2. Penthouse?"

"No, he says he brings me to those things because he has no one else to take, and yes, and it's nice as fuck."

"Well aren't you living in the lap of luxury?" Philip asked as the waiter came around and delivered their sandwiches.

"Yes, unless David doesn't want to date me. Anyways, what's up with you?"

"Well a met a guy-"

Dick gasped. "A guy?"

Philip quickly explained how he met George to Dick.

"Well, honey, if David doesn't work out then I might go after this George of yours." Dick said, finishing his sandwich.

"You wish."

"I know, I'm just kidding."

Philip rolled his eyes.