Philip The Prostitute

Everyone is fine with it except Alex

(Time period: Modern day. Philip and friends are back for the summer from college.

This is unrelated to my other Pheacker Fanfiction by the way.)

"Your son is selling his body on the streets of down town. He needs to be stopped, but he won't listen to me." Alex said to Eliza as their family sat together at the dinner table.

Eliza and Alex had been friends since he came to America, and she had given birth to Philip and his twin sister, Frances, for Alex to raise with his husband. They were as close as two friends could be, and they even lived in the same house with Eliza's sisters, and Alex's friends and husband.

Peggy laughed and then covered it up with a cough. Alex narrowed his eyes at her and then turned back to Eliza. When he wasn't looking she leaned over and high-fived Philip as Lafayette and Hercules Mulligan patted the young man on the back. Martha Washington thumbs-up'd her grandson.

"Good for you." Eliza said, raising her glass of water to Philip as if to toast.

Philip's cousins, Will, G, and Marie, as well as Frances, mimicked her gesture.

"Don't encourage him!" Alex exclaimed, looking, as if betrayed, at his family "He could be doing much better things with his life!"

"Like what?" Alex's husband, John Laurens, asked "Picking fights with his co-workers at the office?"

Angelica and Peggy didn't bother to hide their laughter.

"I'll have you know that Jefferson is asking for it, the way he-" Alex yelled, standing up from his seat.

"I personally have no problem with it." Eliza said, taking a sip from her glass "My girlfriend is a prostitute, and she probably makes more money that you ever will, Alex."

The other occupants of the dinner table were all shaking from laughter. All except for the Burrs, who had just gotten home and had no idea what was going on. Frances leaned over and quickly explained the situation to them. Theodosia jr. joined in on the laughter, and Aaron shook his head, but looked amused none the less.

"What do you think, Laurens?" Eliza asked "Do you have a problem with Philip being a prostitute?"

"As long as he's safe, I don't have a problem." Laurens said, looking pointedly at Philip.

"Don't worry- I'm using condoms and lube." Philip said. The look on Alex's face sent the group into another round of laughter.

"What about you, Martha?" Eliza asked.

"I've done worse things in my lifetime." Martha said, leaning back in her seat.

"Mama!" Lafayette and Alex said in usion, gasping at the old woman. She shrugged in response.

"Frances? Marie? G? Will?" Eliza asked, turning to Philip's cousins.

"Seems fine to me." G said. The others nodded in agreement.

"The only person who has a problem with Philip's life choices, is you, Alex." Hercules said.

Alex screamed and collapsed to the dining room floor just as George Wahington opened the garage door, home from work.

"Son are you ok-" he started.

"DON'T CALL ME SON!" Alex screamed, still lying on the floor.

(I hope you're enjoying this shitpost of a fanfic)