But A Dream

CHAPTER 44 - 51

CHAPTER 44 - Andie

I push open the door to the second floor and look up and down the hallway. I glance at my phone. 3:56pm. I turn left and walk purposefully forward my eyes darting to the sides counting off room numbers. I turn again and then pass doors numbered 2114...2116...2118. I stop in front of a wood paneled door with a small square window and I take a deep breath, my heart rate spiking. This is it.

I step forward and reach for the handle, but the scene inside the room makes me pause. My eyes instantly go to the hospital bed at the opposite end of the room and my heart drops. I know the boy lying in the bed. I'd know him anywhere. Though his hair is longer and lies in an unruly mess around his head. His cheeks seem more hallow, but that could just be because I'm so used to seeing them full of life and stretched into a wide smile. His eyes are closed softy and his head rests slightly to the side. I'd think he was asleep were it not for the various needles embedded in his arms connecting to machines beside his bed. I notice the steady rise and fall of his chest, and I let out a shaky exhale of air. I'm not too late.

Next to his bed sits a middle-aged woman who holds his hand. She reaches up and pushes some hair back off of his forehead. A man stands beside her, his back to the bed as he stares out the window to the city beyond. On the other side of the bed, a teenage boy sits bent over in a chair with his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands.

My heart breaks all over again and my eyes sting as an immense guilt settles over me. This is the only way these people have seen their son and brother for the past three years, while I've spent the past three months talking to him and hanging out with him. Me, practically a complete stranger to him still. How is that fair? They have suffered so much for so long. I can see how they would think it's best to end his suffering and let him go.

But that's what Devin wants too, isn't it? He told me so himself.

My mind instantly flashes back to that night on the roof when he told me about the car accident.

When I think about being here for the rest of my life I just... I just wish this hell would end sooner rather than later, you know?

He said it with so much certainty and the resigned defeat of someone who has thought long and hard about the decision. What if this is ultimately what he wants? Am I so blinded with selfishness that I'm trying to prevent the only choice he would want to make for himself?

It takes me a moment to realize his brother is staring at me. We lock eyes and I see his eyebrows drawn together in puzzlement. Without realizing it I take a step back. And another until the edge of the window draws up and hides me from view. My back hits the hallway wall and I slowly slide down to the ground and sit staring at the wooden door as silent tears begin to fall down my face.

Just then, a woman in a white coat with her hair done up in a tight bun walks up to the door. A younger man in pale blue scrubs follows behind her carrying a clipboard. They either don't see me or chose to ignore me. The woman opens the door for Room 2120. Past her I see all of Devin's family turn to look at the physician. She steps through the door closely followed by the younger man.

As the door begins to close I hear her say, "Afternoon. There are just a few more papers that need to be signed and then we can..."

The door shuts and I'm left alone in the hallway in silence.

I stare at the wood paneled door and under my breath I whisper, "Goodbye, Devin."

CHAPTER 45 - Devin

"So what happens now?"

The man scratches his temple as he clears his throat and continues, "We are tracking down the specialist who will perform the procedure. In the meantime, you will go back to your room, pack up your belongings and then we will change your status before relocating you to your new city."