Because I Love You✔️

Chapter 121: Jealousy

That stillness... was what his soul craved.

He wanted clarity. He wanted calm. He wanted certainty.

Stability.

The feeling of having his feet firmly underneath him.

But with the knowledge Vordt had bestowed upon him about Adariel's situation, a myriad of negative emotions that even now felt extremely alien to him had, in a sense, awakened a very possessive piece of his heart from a subconscious slumber.

He tried to push his anger down since letting his temper go unchecked wasn't wise.

It would likely cause him to be moody, despondent, or even volatile, none of which would be pleasant to be around, but the thought of Adariel being harmed made him remember his father's abuse and the only thing he could recall from his old life on Atlas.

The memory of his mother introducing him to his sibling for the first time.

"This is your little brother Adariel, Xa-Xa... he finally came to meet us."

"This is my brother?"

"Yes. You must protect him. Cherish him. He will be your strength in the days to come. And you will be his. For you are both to become the Kings of these forests someday."

A shiver ran through his entire body and he closed his eyes tight to prevent them from filling with tears. His mother on this world had been exactly the same as the one he remembered. Hell, even the words that had been spoken to him after Adariel's birth had mirrored the words he'd heard just before she'd died back on Earth.

That memory, even if it didn't really belong to him, made him miss her deeply.

Both versions of her, in fact.

The love of a mother, an intimacy that most took for granted, was an experience he had longed for his whole life. He thought of Earth's Ella for the first time in what felt like a while and he momentarily wished he could share with her everything he'd learned over the last few months.

But he already knew he would be able to do it for real someday, so he didn't dwell on it.

Plus. when the day came that he could see her again... things would probably change forever.

She had loved him just as much as he had loved her, and he knew that she would be devastated to learn about what he'd done to himself, especially since he'd done it because of her death. She would blame herself if he wasn't careful, and he wouldn't let that happen.

Especially since deep down, he knew what she would want for him.

She would want him to just... be happy.

If he could only find a little bit of set-in-stone closure on things, he might... might be okay with starting over on Atlas. He didn't know, but thinking of her now... while it still hurt a lot, it didn't feel the same as it used to. Not as sharp, not as piercing, not as harsh.

He no longer felt as if every piece of his heart and soul were being ripped apart.

There was just just a slow, dull ache that throbbed and burned with recognition and finality.

A long sigh escaped him as he sat up and stretched his back.

Purposely stopping himself from descending into further gloom, he reminded himself that while his old life was over, he wasn't alone anymore. He had real friends who understood him, he had family members that loved him to a certain degree, and a little brother who needed him.