To Not Give In

Thirty Four || Tonight We Feast

Today was the second day. Tomorrow, Harada-san and Nagakura-san would be leaving.

I still hadn't decided.

Instead, I decided to do a surprise feast with Chizuru, and together, the two of us went to the market to search for ingredients. I gave her the dishes that I had in mind and she chose the vegetables and produce for the food.

We'd stop at a stall in front of a crate brimming with vegetable and she'd pick two that looked exactly the same and say: "This one is bigger and has a brighter skin—it'll be better to cook this one."

And they'd look exactly the same.

Honestly, I didn't know how the girl was capable of doing such magic. She probably had magic eyes which could see things the ordinary eyes couldn't—especially for vegetables. Yes, that had to be it.

"We have to get Okita-san too," I thought aloud as we walked down the streets, each of us carrying baskets brimming with fresh vegetables and other ingredients on our backs. "It's only natural for him to join the feast too."

"Yes, of course," agreed Chizuru, nodding her head as she did. She chewed on her lips. "He's been quite ill lately..."

There was a certain tightness in my chest when she said that, as I remembered that the reason Okita-san wasn't with the Shinsengumi due to now was because he was busy resting because  his tuberculosis. I pursed my lips as I stared down at the ground. About his tuberculosis...it was so frustrating. Back in modern day, there would be medication for that. But here in late nineteenth century Edo Period...it was considered an incurable disease.

Stop being so depressed, I scolded myself mentally. You're preparing a big dinner for the captains tonight—do it with a positive attitude!

Forcing a smile on my face, I beamed up at the sky. 

"No excuse for him to not join in the feast." I pumped my fist but then gave a second thought. "Alright, perhaps he might not have the best appetite right now...but he can take part in the merriment, right?"

My words seemed to spark a brighter attitude with Chizuru, because she smiled warmly alongside me. "Yes, indeed."

We picked out a few more ingredients before heading over to Okita-san's.

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" I declared my presence behind the shoji door with a brisk shout before shoving the door open and stomping into the room.

"Well, do barge in, it's not as if I mind at all," Okita-san said sarcastically as he eased himself up from his futon.

"Hello, Okita-san!" Chizuru greeted cheerfully as she sat down next to me beside Okita-san's bed.

I rolled my eyes. "As if you were doing anything before I came in."

He let out a small "hmph" but managed to give me his signature smirk and my heart warmed a bit at the sight of it. Despite that, a small part of me withered at the sight of him. Like me, he was looking especially worse for wear. He'd grown thinner and his skin a sickly pale tone. Shadows had gathered under his worn-looking eyes. His vitality had visibly gone down the scale quite a bit.  But there was still a light in those emerald-greens. A light of life and fire. And that part reassured me despite his tuberculosis-ridden body.

Abruptly, I noticed that he was studying me, and his brows had furrowed a bit and his mouth pressed into a thin line.

"I see you're not looking quite well," he remarked.

I sniffed and shot him a glare, crossing my arms. "Speak for yourself."

We had a silent staring contest, the fires in both our eyes burning equally bright and strong, neither planning to go out any second soon.