Live Louder

Part 5: Another Chance

They didn't speak and apart from the city sounds, only Kayley's coughing broke the silence. Each fit of coughs was worse than the last, and Tyler started to think that his idea was a horrifically stupid one. He was about to tell her that they had to stop and go back to her room, but she spoke. "Thanks, Tyler." It was soft, but he heard it.

"For what?" he murmured and shook the silver spray paint in his hand.

"This. I know that I'm going to die—"

"Can we please not talk about that?" Tyler pleaded and when she started to cough violently, he dropped his can, grabbed the thermos from his bag, and gave her some warm water.

When the coughing ceased, she said, "I have to say it! I'm never going to get another chance."

"Fine," he gave in, "but let's go back to your room and talk there." Tyler made a move to pack up, but she grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

"No, we're finishing this," she said, and from her tone Tyler knew that there was no changing her mind.

"But you—"

"I'm dying anyway. I'd rather die here than down there," she said with fierce determination. "Tyler, please," Kayley begged and the look of desperation in her eyes made him sigh in surrender. He made her sit down with him and once they were settled she said, "Thank you for planning this."

"It's really not a big deal, Kay—"

"I get to die knowing that the last thing I did was live louder through one of the few things I value in my life," she interrupted. "That is a big deal, Tyler." Her eyes were watery and his throat thickened at the sight so instead of answering, he nodded.

Kayley cleared her throat, and after drinking more water from the thermos, she said, "Ever since Mom and Dad died, it's always been just us. Now that I'm dying, I need you to remember that you're not alone, and you never will be." Another fit of coughs attacked her and Tyler gently rubbed her back to help ease her pain. She smiled gratefully.

"I'll always be there for you, and I'll always be with you, so don't get into any serious shit when I'm gone. Behave yourself. Find and marry a nice girl, have babies and tell them about how much cooler than you their Aunt Kayley was."

"I don't want to lie to my own children," Tyler laughed despite the serious atmosphere, and she glared playful daggers at him before her face turned solemn once more.

"Mom and Dad would be so proud of you, you know," she said quietly and he shook his head.

"They'd be proud of us," Tyler corrected. "For making it this far without them."

"That's true," she smiled and in the lamp's light, he could see the moisture on her cheeks. "They always said our heads were so far up in the clouds that we'd never survive the ground." Kayley breathed deeply, rattling as it left her body. "I need you to know that I love you," she said, her pale blue eyes meeting his identical ones.

"I already know that," Tyler assured Kayley.

"I know. I just needed to say it to you before...you know." She sniffed and he could see the tear trails on her thin cheeks. "I love you, Tyler."

"I love you, too." As soon as he said it, she could no longer hold her calm expression and her face creased with raw emotion. Tyler kissed her forehead and reached his arms around her. The sobs that raked her body shook him to his soul and brought out his own tears.

Tyler tightened his grip around her, convinced for a minute that if he held on tight enough, she wouldn't die. He envisioned his arms as the rope that kept her tied to Earth and as long as he never let go, she'd keep living.

They stayed like that for a while, neither of them wanting to let go. When they did separate, she smiled like everything was normal. Like she wasn't dying. Like they were two siblings rebelling against the city's laws. Like they both had their whole lives ahead of themselves. Like death could never take them—like they were an exception.

"Come on," Kayley said and stood up with obvious difficulty, but managed to do it without Tyler's help. "Let's finish this."