Altered states

Three •||• Insantiy

"Clara?"

I blink repeatedly until I can see a rough outline of a person hovering above me.

"Oh thank god your awake"

Slowly everything comes into focus. First thing I see is my dad's old, grey eyes starring back at me. My heart momentarily stops. Looking sharply to the side, I see the warm colours of the living room walls, displaying marvellous painting of vast landscapes. It's a welcoming feeling, something I haven't managed to feel in a while.

I'm laid out on the sofa, a light pink blanket wrapped loosely around my fragile frame.

"What happened?" I manage to say, my mouth was bone dry as was my throat, making my voice sound old and raspy. I heave my body up so I'm leaning on my elbows. Dad looks bewildered and shakes his head.

"I don't know, your mum called me up stairs saying you were on the floor shouting for help" he looks at me and brushes the hair I hadn't noticed, out my face.

"What happened up there?"

I shrug my shoulders also moving my head, so he would move his hand off my face.

"I was shouting out-loud?" I ask, I had thought it was in my head. He nods and stands up.

"Where's mum?" I quickly ask before he leaves the room.

"She went to speak to the doctor" he states, "I'll get you some water" then he leaves.

I bite nervously at my already too short nails.

What is she going to say to the doctor? Will I have to go back to hospital?

The effort of keeping my body upright begins to ache my shoulders, so I lay back down and close my eyes.

But all I see is him.

Quickly I open them, I don't want to see him. I don't want to know him. I don't want anything to do with him. He has kept saying I know him, when clearly I don't and I feel...... I don't know what I feel when he's around, but it's not... not normal.

And his eyes, they're not normal either. There's something about them, something in them, in him. Something unwelcoming. I shudder and try to force him out my mind.

Dad comes back in with the glass of water. I follow him with my eyes, still uneasy to be alone with him. He sits on the edge of the sofa and passes me the water. I hastily take it I press my lips to the rim, slowly pouring the water into my dry mouth, relieving the pain as I slips down my dried out throat. I keep my eyes on him as I drink, he's looking at my legs, wrapped in the blanket.

"Thanks" I mutter and hand him back the glass, making an attempt to pull my knees up to my chest, but failing as I couldn't sit up. His gaze is averted from my legs as he takes the glass. For a second we don't do anything, our eyes hooked on each-others, I'm scared to know what he's thinking and so I snap my head away not bearing to look at him.

Mum where are you!

"When is mum going to be back?"

I persist, the silence making my stomach twist into nervous knots that dug their way into my body and up my spine. Dad shrugs,

"It could be a long time" he says in a low voice, his hand falling into my thigh. I tense up, my breaths becoming infrequent and my heart beat dancing out of control.

"Dad" I say, trying so hard to stop the fear leaking into my voice, I end up sounding shaky and pathetic. Sensing my venerability he slowly starts to lean inward. I scrunch up my face and frantically shake my head. Pleading in my head that this isn't happening.