Poems of A Bored Teen

Perfect Dreams And Beautiful Nightmares

I clutched the stuffed animal closer.

It was cold,

hard,

broken,

Unwanted.

Numbness

Nothingness

Tears fell

My head hurt

What does it all mean?

"Please-"

The door slammed

The woman scrambled to her feet-

Slipped on red water

Cries

Cries

She wanted to die

Teddy became red on the floor

I hugged mom

Her belly popped

Blood everywhere

She wanted to die

Like the unborn who just did,

She wanted to die.

I saw the lie in her smiles

The agony in her eyes.

She wanted to leave too

But she didn't

And I'm alive.

Traumatized, yes

But alive.

Afraid to love, yes

But alive...

---

-failed to keep the ghost of my past at bay.

I shouted words that couldn't leave my lips.

Anger,

            frustration,

                                    pain,

All bubbling up inside.

Now I understood what it all meant.

I wish I didn't.

Despite my best efforts, I still dreamed that very dream I was so afraid of. A dream about what my parents used to call 'true love' before it reached its expiration date. It haunted my shadows and followed me to the end of the universe. Everywhere I go, it was just there, ready to eat me up the moment I made a mistake.

"Are you okay? Damn- Here, have some water,"

But he came into my life and messed up everything I thought I knew about love.

"Thanks, hon." I didn't realize I was sitting up on our bed, sweat trickling down my skin, catching my breath. His hair was still a mess. Dark eyes filled with concern were still drowsy from sleep.

"Nightmare again?"

I nodded.

"Sorry I woke you."

He sighed, still worried, comforting me as I gulped down the water.

---

He wiped away my tears,

Hugged away my fears,

And kissed away my doubts

Keeping me close and dear,

He stayed after all these years...

There weren't any red-stained eyes,

Broken bottles,

Hatred,

Stolen coppers,

Bloody floors,

Or slamming doors.

I was happy- and still am happy.

More alive than I ever was.

---

Because of him I realized there was never true unconditional love between my parents. It was never a perfect dream. What they had was a beautiful nightmare; where you get to watch a seemingly eternal summer crumble into cold harsh winter.

How lucky I am to have found him- my neverending summer, my perfect dream.

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