Sajmra Talks Part 3 #wattys2018

Give A Compliment A Day

You are all amazing.

You are all beautiful.

And you all have wonderful souls. 

I think at some point in time, probably many times, every single one of us has faced some sort of self doubt, insecurity, or negativity about ourselves.

Whether it be our weight or body shapes, our skin color, acne or blemishes, scars or physical disabilities, etc...

We have no doubt disliked, and probably hated, something about ourselves. And this can stem from many things. Whether it be from the people around you, social media or peer pressure, insults or 'advice' from family, friends, or random people who have no business saying anything, or the media and the celebrities we see.

Unfortunately, the ideal 'look' the definition of beauty, the OPTIMUM of female (and male of course they are certainly not exempt from this) perfection, is cookie cutter.

Meaning that if you aren't super skinny, if your skin isn't perfectly smooth (and in some cases pale and fair), if your hair isn't perfectly put together and shiny and if you don't wear certain clothes and if your feet are too big and if you are too tall or too short and every single other thing in the world you can think of...

You. Don't. Belong.

And that is bull.

But, it is what's engraved in our minds. And I know one of the biggest culprits for this is, like I said previously, movies and television and celebrities and the like. But the seed is planted, and the roots start to grow, when, just to give a few examples, an Aunt makes a remark about your weight gain. When a sibling or a friend asks if you are 'really going to wear that'. When someone at school makes fun of your skin or glasses.

And because of these instances, our self esteem and our confidence becomes shaken, and when we look in the mirror, all we can see are those 'flaws'.

That is all we are able to see.

At that moment in time we know that we don't like the size of our noses or our ears, we don't like the shape of our eyes, the color of our skin, or our figures.

And we aren't able to see the good in ourselves.

So what do we do to rectify this problem? Because we know that Hollywood certainly isn't going to change. We know that the nosy Khaltu at the Masjid who called me fat isn't going to change.

So we have to change the way we see ourselves. And no it won't be easy. Believe me it won't.

Every day it's a challenge for me to love myself flaws and all. But I HAVE to work on myself, because I don't want my children to ever, EVER think that the worst thing in the world they can be, is fat or dark skinned. Because that does not define them, it does not define their souls, and it does not define their Deen and their love for Allah swt.

And they will be beautiful no matter what.

You have to push through and you have to keep trying. Make Duaa to Allah swt to help you. Give yourself a compliment every day! Even if you start small. You may wake up one day and think that you hate your hair, you hate how your waist looks and how your legs look. But find that one thing and say 'but my eyes are gorgeous Ma Sha Allah!' And you just keep working on yourself every day, until you can look at yourself and be happy with everything.

And you will get there In Sha Allah.

While you're at it, give someone else a compliment too! Every day if you can! I try to even if I don't get one in return and that's okay if I don't, that's not the point of doing it. If I can make someone else feel good about themselves, it makes me feel good.

I can't tell you how amazing it is, how it lifts up your spirit and your day, how happy you get when someone says 'you look pretty today' or 'I was thinking about how amazing you are' or even if they just send you a 'hi beautiful' text message.

We may not be able to change everyone, but the biggest change begins with ourselves.

These were just a few reflections I was having right now. Any good I have said comes from Allah swt, and any bad is from myself and Shaytaan.

Before I go, I just want to reiterate one thing.

You are all amazing

You are all beautiful.

And you all have wonderful souls

Love ❤️

#StayAwesome