Arcadia

1

I want to get lost in the city, get lost in the crowds. I want to be a part of it, not to belong, but only to realize that I'm not alone. The city is beautiful, isn't it? I don't know if it's full of joy like the poets say, but I always find love somewhere around the corner. 

I'll walk. Along broad highways and dingy by-lanes, and think about the warriors of a not-so-old time, who'd believed a bit too far in some things, and died for it. Maybe the narrow strip of the sky that I can see from this alleyway was the last thing they'd seen before the bullet had hit them in the back. Maybe they'd loved the city just as I do.

I'll keep walking, I'll find quaint inns and mead-halls. I will meet people, love them for a while over the shared goblet that goes around. But I won't remember them, because this is a journey I must take alone.

Maybe one day I'll find a quaint little temple, set in the heart of the city but still far removed from it's hustle. It will be like another world, and I'll let my ears savour the music of a different land, I'll let the exotic notes take me away. I'll find beauty, but not peace. I'll find other tired travelers there, one of them finds peace in the familiarity of repeated circles, the other in turbulence and chaos. I'll wonder where my peace lies in. And a white string round our wrists will tie us together, and we'll go our own ways. 

I'll keep walking, and years later, maybe I'll embark on a familiar road, it'll remind me of a home that once was. It'll always be a place so full of life, and I'll see travellers waiting to leave home. They'll remind me of what I once was, a part of me that I'd left behind. And I'll stand in a corner and try to conjure ghosts from dusty memories. I'll remember familiar smells and strangers who'd smiled in the dark, and I'll keep telling myself it's okay to love them still, even if I never see them again.

l'll keep walking, for it's a journey that ends only in death. I'll stop by the casket for the final time, and put my heavy bag down, and maybe I'll see the spirits that I'd long left behind, come to take me home, and maybe I won't be scared anymore.