Sword Art Online-Encroaching Shadows

Chapter 27

"He doesn't know the real me. He only knows Jemza, the pretty white haired dagger wielder in SAO. He would never want the real me. No one does. I'm protecting him."

"It's just...I thought you looked...pretty." Tears were already streaming down her cheeks and she raised both hands desperately trying to wipe them away. No matter how much she tried they wouldn't stop. They mixed with the rain water on her face and she sniffled against the slight chill of the weather.

"I'm not though. I'm ugly. Nothing about me is pretty. I'm just a lie...a sham. Why did this have to happen? If Argo hadn't said that to me I wouldn't have started thinking about it. We would still be smiling and having fun."

"We can do whatever you want to do." She clasped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound of her cries. Her knees shook violently, threatening to make her collapse on the cobblestone road.

"Whatever I want? Do I have the right to want something after all I've done and said? Why were you so nice to me? Why do you risk your life for me? Why do I feel the need to save you from whatever you've been through? If you don't stop...I won't be able to..."

"Don't..." He was already a few dozen feet away, but where they were was devoid of anyone but them. As such she heard his footsteps stop over the sound of the rain after she spoke.

"There's no going back if you do this. He will hate you. You'll only hurt him more and then you'll be alone. If you selfishly choose to do whatever you want for yourself it'll only bring more trouble. Just run away and never look back."

"What?" He called back to her sadly unsure what to do.

"I'm selfish, rude, and horrible. Nothing about me is pretty...and yet...whenever he's around, I feel different. The moment we come too close to one another I panic and say stupid things. I yell at him, hit him, and threaten him. I'm not a girl worth the time and effort. So why won't I just run away? Why can't I let go? Why did I fall in love?"

"Don't let me go!" She fell to her knees splashing in the water that had pooled up on the street. There was no hiding her voice any longer and she cried hard grasping at her chest again. A pain unlike anything she had ever felt pulsed through her. Her body hunched over, her hair falling down in front of her face. She couldn't stop the screams coming from her throat while gasping for air.

"Hey!" She heard Jayce hit the ground next to her no more than a few seconds later, his knees sliding on the road. He reached out towards her, but stopped inches before touching her, hesitating. After what had happened she couldn't blame him, but just as she thought, there was no turning back now.

"Just touch me!"

"Uh...alright sorry." The moment his hands tentatively touched her shoulders she spun and buried her face against him. Just like on the savannah she let everything go, but for very different reasons this time.

"Please, don't let me go...ever." Her fingers dug into the leather of his chest piece and she could feel a hand on her back, the other stroking her hair.

"It's not too late. Don't say anymore. You can still go back to how it used to be. Nothing has to change."

"I...want it to change." Her words were a mess between breaths of air and she could feel Jayce shift, looking down at her no doubt in confusion.

"I don't understand what's wrong. I didn't mean to hurt you just tell me what you want to change and I'll do it." She only pushed her head harder against him as he spoke. He didn't understand at all. How could he? He thought this was his entire fault and the way she had been treating him who could blame him?

"Apologize and tomorrow everything will be alright. Don't say anything more."

"What do you want?" Jayce asked her quietly. She swallowed and placed the palms of her hands on his chest pushing herself back just enough so she could look at him. Thanks to the rain her hair half covered her face sticking to her eyes and mouth. With a shaking hand she reached up and pushed his hood back off his head, his eyes shifting back and forth nervously.

"I'm sorry. Nothing more than that."

"I'm sorry...but I love you." Jayce stared back at her blankly before chuckling awkwardly.

"Um, I'm sure I misheard you. What was that?" She knew he hadn't misheard her, but he couldn't believe it. He needed confirmation to make sure. She took a deep breath to steady herself and rested her head on his shoulder wrapping her arms around the back of his neck.

"You heard me." Both his hands found their way around her back, pulling her tighter against him.

"This...I don't deserve this, but I don't care. This is what I want."

"Jemza, I just...I mean I..." He stuttered making her smile as they continued to cling tighter to one another.

"Yeah? I'm waiting." She responded playfully laughing against her tears.

"Sorry, I'm no good at this. Let me try again. I...what the..." A bright blue ball formed between them followed by a quick rushing noise before Jayce's body was launched backwards several feet skidding along the ground. He rolled and tumbled away violently leaving Jemza to watch in shock. A blinking window appeared and she closed her mouth quickly trying not to laugh as Jayce struggled to move a dozen feet away.

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