TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU! | R. HEFFLEY

―FIVE: THE EPIPHANY!

"HESTIA NEEDS A WHAT?" Chirag exclaimed.

Greg sheepishly looked down at his shoes and mumbled, "A boyfriend."

"But how in the world is a girl like that going to get a boyfriend? Even my desperate cousin Chandrakant wouldn't date her!" Chirag shook his head and said, "Hestia is an okay looking girl but she wards off any guys with her attitude."

"Well, we better find Hestia a boyfriend fast if I can get Athena to date me." Greg thought for a moment and then grinned and said, "I know exactly where to go."

Exactly eleven minutes later, Greg and Chirag found themselves under the bleachers near the school sports field. Under the bleachers was another regular hang out the school burnouts and freaks.

They seemed to be talking quietly amongst themselves until they stopped at the sight of the two freshmen standing there who were clearly not the usual type to be hanging out with them.
  
"Ahem," mumbled Greg, clearing his throat and then said, "Would any of you be interested in dating Hestia Sawyer?"

They were met with incredulous eyes. Suddenly, a teen that could've passed for a cult leader broke into laughter. His laughter was infectious and soon his friends were cracking up too.

"What? What's funny?" asked Greg.

"Yeah right, like any of us would date the shrew herself," he muttered, in between laughs.

"We're desperate, but we're not that desperate," another one of them added, causing the others to laugh even more.

Chirag groaned and him and Greg left the laughing mess of teens.

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"So what do we do?" Chirag asked.

Greg and Chirag were sitting on the bench outside school without a clue on what to do about the Find-Hestia-A-Boyfriend-So-Greg-Can-Date-Athena-And-Chirag-Can-Be-The-Godfather-Of-Their-Children operation, which they had named two minutes prior.

"I dunno... there isn't anybody else who would be willing to date her," Chirag said sadly, his hopes of being a super cool and hip godfather crushed.

"I mean, who has a similar personality and tastes as her and would do pretty much anything for some cash?" wondered Greg aloud.

Suddenly, a car honked. It was Rodrick with his van, picking them up from school.

"Hey guys, hurry up! I have a gig to play at in twenty minutes!" he yelled from the van.

Greg and Chirag both had an epiphany and looked at each other at the same time.

"RODRICK!"

END OF ACT I