Life After Losing You

Chapter 26: Sucking Out The Poison

EDITED: 7/23/15 ✓

Chapter 26: Sucking Out The Poison

I was supposed to be getting ready to go out to the planned lunch my father had scheduled. Though, the moment I stepped back into my room, I felt paralyzed. So here I sat, on the edge of my bed, holding the small white piece of paper dangling between my shaky fingertips.

I must've read through Jason's number at least two dozen times in the past few minutes. I couldn't really explain what was going through my head right now but... I just felt this intense urge to see him once more. It wouldn't be easy, but I really needed some answers.

Without even thinking, I jumped up and jogged straight of my bedroom and toward Matt's. I knocked, quite intently, until the door was swung open revealing a wet-haired, half-dressed Matt; he stood before me, bare-chested and dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans. In any other mental state, I would've surely lost my train of thought to gawk at his athletic physique.

"Sophia is everything...?" Matt began before I cut him off.

"I need to talk to Jason again," I blurted out, feeling a sickly frown settle on my face.

"What...?" Matt started again but of course, I unapologetically spurted out words.

"I don't know. I have unanswered questions, Matt. Being here and seeing Jason again makes me feel closer to Cal than I have in a very long time. I just feel like there's so much left unsaid – things that I couldn't handle hearing in the past. I need to do this, please Matt," I pleaded as my breath's quickened and my heart began hammering unsteadily in my ears. Oh... Oh, hell.

"Sophia? Sophia, stop," Matt gripped onto my shoulders and ducked his head to get a good look at my face. I began to tremble slightly; whether it was from the sudden chill sweeping through my body or the unsettling nerves, I was unsure. Despite my cold body, my neck and face began to feel upsetting warm.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I gasped and covered my eyes with my hands. All of these constant reminders of Cal were testing frightening levels of my anxiety. Up until now, I'd been confident that I had conquered the worst of my issues. Though, I knew I couldn't just expect my mind to smoothly transition without a few hiccups.

Matt silently pulled me out of the hallway and into his bedroom, softly shutting the door behind him. Within a minute, Matt and I lay facing each other on his bed. I placed a trembling hand to my lips as I pushed back the tears threating to surface in my eyes.

"You're okay," Matt assured me gently, his arm encircling my small frame. I let out a shaky breath as his hand swept up and down my spine, smoothing out the rigid tension.

I tried my best to copy his strong, slow breaths as the moments passed and my mind unwounded from its nonfunctional moment.

"Do you want to try your medication?" Matt whispered quietly, yet his voice was tense with worry. I allowed my hands to fall from my face as I sighed deeply. I felt as if I had teetered over a dangerous edge, yet hadn't quite taken the fall.

"I think... I'm okay," I whispered back between breaths. Matt held me close for a few long moments before he pulled away slightly to search my face.

"You wouldn't let me come with you, would you?" Matt asked, a sad smile forming on his lips as he brushed tendrils of hair from my face.

"I think this is something I need to do on my own," I lowered my gaze as I felt my breaths decrease back to their normal pace. Matt visibly relaxed as he watched my movements carefully.