The Magnitude of True Love

Chapter Fourteen: Gaining the Lost

I spent the long walk to Magnus' gathering my thoughts and practicing what I was going to say to him, and now, here I am. There's nothing to prepare me for this moment. I lift my right hand to the wooden door and hesitantly knock four times before I allow my hand to return to my side. The door slowly opens in front of me to reveal Magnus.

"Alexander?" Magnus glances behind him and then looks back at me.

"Is it a bad time?"

"No...I'm just not sure yo-" I hear shuffling inside the apartment. All of a sudden, my father appears at the door.

"Alec?" He questions speculatively as if he doesn't believe I'm really in front of him.

"Father? What are you doing here?"

"I was just having a chat with Magnus."

"Why?" I asked unsure of my father's motives.

"We needed to clear some things up."

"What things?" I questioned with narrowed eyes. What game is he playing?

"No games, Alexander." My focus turned back to Magnus. Did I really just say that out loud?

"Alec, remember who supported your decision and defended it to your mother. As your father, I was just doing something your mother should have but can't do because she refuses to come to terms with who you are." I cast my eyes downward and take a step back surrendering my argument. I offer a silent apology when I glance up at the both of them. Magnus turns his back and walks into his living room. My father matches my stare and pats my back as he moves away from the loft, and me. I stare at his back as I watch him walk away with the promise of a heart to heart discussion lingering in the air behind him.

I'm not confident whether I should knock on the door again or walk away. If I walk away, I'm a coward. If I don't, I don't know how I can express my thoughts to him adequately. I begin to pace outside the door. I would prefer not to have to knock on the door again. As I pause my movement in front of the closed door, I make my decision. I slowly bring my hand up to knock again silently begging Raziel to give me the courage of a warrior in my daily life and not just when I'm doing my job. When my hand nearly makes contact with the door, the door swings open revealing a curious Magnus Bane. He pulls me inside and shuts the door.

"What are you doing, Alexander? You are still recovering?" His concern is evident in the tone of his voice and the shadowing of his eyes and features. I feel like he's scrutinizing me as if he wishes to look for injuries but is holding himself back. Suddenly, his expression changed to one of lust, but he steps back before either one of us can act on it.

"I'm here for you, Magnus."

"Why? Aren't you still hung up on someone else?" I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean? There's no one else."

"Are you sure about that?" Magnus crosses his arms and stares at me with his eyebrows raised.

"I don't know what you mean, Magnus. Truthfully."

"Stop playing. Alec. I know you're still in love with Jace." Fuck. How could he think that? I haven't shown him any reason for that. At least, I don't think s--ohhhhh-

"Magnus, I honestly don't feel anything for Jace. I'm sorry I dropped everything to help him. We're Parabatai. He'd do the same for me. Plus, he's in love with Clary whether he wants to admit it or not." I hope he can hear how sincere I am. I'm really not in love with Jace anymore. My feelings stopped when Magnus walked into my life. Maybe I should tell him that. "Magnus, I-" I was cut off when his lips met mine. It was a long passionate kiss. One, that showed me he felt the same way about me. It was the only way he felt he could express himself to me. I showed him the same fervor when I kissed him back. I painfully break away first. "I don't want to hold back anymore."

"You don't have to, Alexander."

"Does this mean you forgive me?"

"Only if you're willing to stay with me."

"Definitely. I just have one stipulation,"

"What's that?" He looked genuinely curious.

"We don't move too fast."

"I'm perfectly okay with that, but what is it that you're worried about?"

"I don't want to say it." I felt a blush begin to cover my cheeks. I hate myself.

"Oh, I see. It's that kind of thing. Alexander, have you really not been with anyone else?" By the Angel, does he have to ask me that?

"N-n-n-no..." Magnus looked absolutely shocked. Fuck. He was expecting more. "Why? How many people have you been with? How old are you?"

"Alexander, age does not matter."

"It does when I have zero experience and you have a ton!"

"I knew my age was going to be a problem!"

"It's not your age. It the intimate experience that comes with it!"

"Why should it matter? We're both adults!"

"Why can't you just tell me how old you are. You know my age. I don't know anything about you!"

"You know a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"I'm a warlock, my name is Magnus, and I like glitter."

"You sound like you're introducing yourself."

"At least I don't tiptoe around people."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're never straightforward with anybody."

"I'm being straightforward with you now."

"Because you want to know something."

"Is that wrong?"

"Yes. If you want a relationship with me, you should trust that I'll tell you these things in time. My last serious relationship was with Camille. Do you really think I want to tell my personal information to everyone when you can clearly see how my relationships turn out?"

"I'm not Camille. Nor am I immortal."

"Do you have to remind me? I hate thinking about the inevitable."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to lose you, Alexander!"

"I'm sorry I pushed you. I don't want to lose you. We can take things slow and see where they go. I don't care how many people you've been with."

"And I don't care how many relationships you haven't had or how many people you haven't been with." He pulled me to him and kissed me. I kissed him back with a passion I didn't know I had in me. I felt his tongue on my lips asking for entrance, which I happily gave. He led me over to the couch without breaking contact and our tongues fought for dominance. I could feel him growing against my abdomen, and I'm sure he could feel mine. I had to break away before things got out of hand. The emotions I'm feeling are overwhelming. I finally gather the strength to break away, and we lay our foreheads together trying to catch our breath before resuming. I could get used to this.

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Salutations,

I will unfortunately not be adding an Epilogue, so this the end. Although, I have a bonus Christmas chapter I'm throwing in!

Enjoy! Please Comment and vote! Share your thoughts!

Love,

Cc Elizabeth