London

22 - "So I should just walk away, again?"

Harry: Funny. He says that about you too.

Alex: lol

Alex: that's me being sarcastic by the way

Harry: Already running off to Liam then?

Alex: no i'll be home

Harry: I won't be long then. I do miss you

I put down my phone, not bothered to respond and turn around in the bed. His pillow always seem to be nicer and the smell of him calms my mind enough to fall asleep.

It always seem to be his hands that I dream of making it hard for me to feel the difference between dreamland and reality. This time I know it's not a dream when they start to push.

"You are on my side," Harry whispers.

"What's the time?" I mumble, afraid I forgot my alarm again.

"Ten."

"You really are home early then."

Usually he gets home around twelve when I'm already vast asleep for my early shifts. When I don't have to work I do usually run off to Liam, but lately I haven't had the urge to travel all the way down there.

"I said I miss you," he says and he settles against me.

His joggers are warm and I always wonder how he can sleep in them. Apparently he gets cold legs in winter, but his bare chest is hot against my own almost naked body.

"How was your day?" Harry wonders when I don't react.

"Good enough." All I did was work and sleep. I realize that I haven't eaten dinner today.

"Need to work tomorrow?"

"Yes, I set my alarm," I tell him.

"I'll get up with you then. Make you some breakfast," he says. "You barely eat."

"Now you are exaggerating," I say but he's telling the truth. 

"I'm still doing it. No matter what you say."

I turn around in his arms to face him and push the hair out of his face. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve him back in my life. Harry makes everything feel so deeply. From pain to pleasure. Sometimes I hate him for it and sometimes I love him so much because of it. Right now love overpowers the irritation I felt for him earlier this night.

Softly I kiss his lips. He doesn't act on it. He doesn't deepen the kiss or pull me closer. When I stop a smile appears on his face. His dimples show and I wonder what I did to make him laugh.

"I think you just agreed with me," he says.

"I'll always agree with you making breakfast, but I wonder if you'll still laugh when I tell you the time of my alarm."

"What is it?"

"5:30."

He closes his eyes for a moment, but he keeps on smiling. "For you I'll do it."

He gives me another kiss on my lips and I pull him close. I might not eat much in his eyes or sleep too much, there seems to be nothing I can do to scare him away. It's what powers me through the day and will power me through my alarm tomorrow as well.

****

I wonder if this is what Harry had hoped it would be like waking up at 5.30. The alarm rings in both our ears and we both don't move. My phone is on my side, but I rather stay in bed intertwined with Harry. In the end Harry leans over me to turn it off.