The Not So Sad Rejection

Chapter Thrity

Regret

~ 1 Month Later ~

"Honest? How's this for honest? You didn't reject me because you were arrogant or because I wasn't your type, you rejected me you weren't good enough for me! You weren't good enough back then and you aren't now. Maybe I do love you but that doesn't matter. No matter what I do you always look for the best way to screw it all up. I don't know what I want. Maybe I never will but I know what I have to do. I have to go."

Stay, he thought. Stay with me. But what left his mouth was, "Then go! Run away. But don't expect me to go looking for you this time because I won't."

"I never asked you to," she said. She turned and walked away and he willed himself to stop her, to give her a reason to stay, to be that reason. Stop her, he told himself. Stop her before it was too late. His hand lifted ever so slightly but she was gone and he was left in a swirl of snow.

When Grant woke his hand was lifted as if he could reach it into the past and pull his mate through back to him. But she was gone and all that he to keep him warm at night was regret and the bottom of a bottle. Maybe it wasn't healthy or befitting of an Alpha that she'd approve of but he simply didn't care.

"I never asked you to," her voice echoed in his head as he pulled himself out of bed. "I never asked you to." He dragged himself to his personal shower, nose wrinkling from his own stench of bourbon. "I never asked you to." He turned the water on and stepped into the spray still in his clothes. "I never asked you to." He hung his head as icy water splattered against him sinking into his clothes, flesh, and bones. "I never asked you to." All he could picture in his mind was the look on her face right before she turned away. "I never asked you to." All he could see was that look of hurt in eyes as it warred with the anger on her face. "I never asked you to."

"I never asked you to."

"I never asked you to."

~*~*~*~

I shivered and knocked my boots against the ground to shake the snow off them. I let out a heavy breath which bellowed out and turned visible when it hit the frozen air. Snow piled itself upon the earth greedily swallowing everything in its path until the ground was a sheet of white.

Still, I'd rather freeze out here than be inside with the rest of them. I looked through the trees at the Greyson home. Twinkling lights hung from the windows, the gutter, the doorframe, and anywhere that Mrs. Greyson could put them. A big green wreath with red ribbon strangling it hung from the front door and through the living room window you could see a large Christmas tree that looked like it'd come straight of a magazine with wrapped boxes rising up from the floor like colorful buildings from the dirt.

Even from here I could hear them laughing in there, my adoptive family, close friends, and trusted pack mates. I was remembering more and more in weird little pieces. In years prior I would be in there with them despite not celebrating the holiday myself. I enjoyed the atmosphere, everyone was so happy to be together. It always felt like home.

Except this year. It was home but it was a home I could no longer touch. It hurt deep inside to be near it and yet I longed so desperately to go through that door and join them. They would welcome me with open arms of course. They'd be glad to see me, I was family. But I couldn't. Something was broken in me, had been for a long time but now was shattered, there was no ignoring the pain that demanded to be heard. The pain of lost love. Lost family.