The Not So Sad Rejection

Chapter Nine

Forgive

I was tired down to my bones. Not in the way where I had to sleep, though I was that as well, but a different type of tired. Drained. I'd barely had the energy to clean and wrap my hand. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for the next few days. But my mind wouldn't be quiet.

I'd managed to satisfy myself with waiting until the morning to deal with the captives but there was another matter that was troubling me. Grant Adams. A part of me wanted to forgive him for what he did, after all it had been years and we were only kids. But I knew I would never be able to forget.

There was only one person I could talk to and it seems it would have to be tonight. I couldn't talk to Jason, or Lily, or Trina. They were family. I was never afraid to tell them anything but they couldn't begin to understand my problem. It was something none of them had experienced. None of them had ever been rejected. I knocked on his door.

I stood there for a minute. Maybe he isn't there or he's asleep. The door opened. "Kate?" Tristan asked softly. "What's wrong?"

"Can we talk?" I asked not answering his question.

He nodded and let me in closing the door behind him. "How's your hand?"

"It'll be fine in a few days, maybe a week." I sat on the edge of his bed. "This isn't about that, or the attack. It's about something that happened before."

Tristan sat next to me. "What happened?"

"Grant came to talk to me before the trip," I said softly looking out the window at the night sky. "He wanted to talk about him and me. About his rejection of me really. He wanted to explain to me."

"Explain what?" Tristan asked.

"Why," I answered. "All these years and all I ever had were seven words. Sorry babe, you just aren't my type. That's the only explanation I ever got for why this pack had betrayed me. Just seven words. And they weren't true. At least that's what he said."

"Did he tell you?" he asked. "The real reason?"

I nodded. "Control. When we first found out I had run. I wanted to put off dealing with it as long as I could. I never really like Grant. I'd put up with him because he was going to be my Alpha. The thought of being his mate... I couldn't comprehend it. So I ran up to my room. Grant had wanted to prove himself in control. He said his plan was to rescind the rejection a couple days later. But he told his father and..."

Tristan wrapped his arm around me. He knew how much the memory of what Holden had done stung me. "What else did he say?"

"That he was sorry, and that he wasn't proud of what he'd done. And he asked me if I could ever forgive him."

I wasn't sure what I had expected Tristan to say but "Can you?" wasn't it.

I thought for a long moment. "Would you?" I asked him turning to face him. "If she came back after all this time and asked it of you, would you give her your forgiveness?" I needed his answer. I wanted him to tell me what to do.

"I don't know," he said after his own moment of thought. "I wish I could tell you yes or no, give you a guideline like I have in the past but I can't. I know that's why you came to me, you wanted me to tell you what you should do. But I don't know what it is that you should do. You have to decide that for yourself."

"I don't think I can forget what he did," I whispered.

Tristan placed his hand on my cheek and I leaned into it. "He wasn't asking you too. You shouldn't forget. Even if you tried you probably couldn't. It's a part of you, Kate. You know that your memories shape you, mold you into the person you are. That memory is part of who you are today. Forgiveness isn't forgetting what's been done. It's remembering it and overcoming it. That's the real choice you have to make. Whether or not you can move past it."