Living Without Yourself (Girl X Girl)

Who?

"Who is Jessica?"

"What?" Lilith asked.

I cleared my throat. "I asked who Jessica, or me I guess, is."

"Is... Is it really that bad that you can't remember yourself..?" She asked.

I don't remember who I am. Or was, I should say. I could be an entirely different person now.

"Well... Who do you think you are?" Lilith questioned.

I looked over into her blue eyes. "I'm not sure I understand..."

"You should tell me who you are, not the other way around. Who do you feel like? What personality traits do you have? What is it that make you unique and you?"

I didn't really think about it that way... "I feel like... Like I'm a little shy maybe..."

"A little?"

"Shut up..." I thought about it. "I like it when people I care about are close to me."

She looked at me with confusion. "How would you know that? It's not exactly a personality trait."

"W-well... I like it when you're around..." I stuttered, apparently earning myself a kiss on the cheek.

"Well that's good, because you can't get rid of me simply by forgetting I exist." Lilith said with a grin.

A watched as she looked at me with her sparkling eyes. "What exactly am I to you?"

"What kinda question is that?" She asked.

I brushed some blonde hair behind my ear. "What were we before? A-and what are we now?"

"Oh..." She said. Such a simple thing, but it broke my heart just the way she said it. "We were partners before. You were going to school and I was working at a club. I mean, I'm on leave right now so I can be with you, but yeah." She explained. "And now, we're still partners, even if you don't remember. Because I don't think you need to remember, as long as you can still feel it."

I looked from her eyes down to her lips, then at her smooth hair and perfect skin. "I think... I think I know what you mean."

"Good." Lilith smiled. "Does that mean you'd be up for coming home soon?"

"W-wait, what? Are you saying that we...?"

"Live together? Yes." She stated as if it was nothing. "You moved to the area for school and were living in the dorms when we started dating, but moved into my place because it had so much space."

"So... Do we... You know, sleep together?" I asked.

Lilith raised an eyebrow and smirked. "In which way? And yes is the answer."

"The answer to... Which?"

Lilith began to draw circles in my arm with her finger. She seemed to be dozing off as she thought about something, and I was tempted to just let her, but then she started speaking again.

"We'd been together for three years by the time of the accident. You were just finishing up school at the top of your class, and I was just making sure you were having fun as you finally moved on from that place." She softly said. Her words just drew me in and I wanted to keep listening forever. "When I said that I loved you, I meant it. I'm not going to say that shit to just anyone, and I don't even say that to my family. I hope that clears things up on how close we are. Or... Were, depending on your feelings."

I couldn't help myself anymore. My hands gently reached each side of her gorgeous face and I pulled her into my lips. Feelings of excitement and passion filled me as I said the only thing I could.

"You don't need to worry about how I feel, I don't think that's changed very much." I said softly into Lilith's ear as I held onto the girl. "And... Sorry for kissing you without asking..."

Lilith pulled a little bit away at looked right at me. "You really don't ever change, do you? Still as apologetic as ever." She said gently as she pulled my into a tender kiss. "So, what do you say? You up for going home once we can get you out of this joint?"

"I'm ok with that, as long as you keep explaining exactly what it was like before." I said.

She smiled brightly, her perfect teeth showing. "Deal."

I grabbed her and pulled her into the bed, hoping for her to land next to me. Instead, she landed right on top of me and her face ended up very very close to mine.

"Not that I'm complaining, but I don't think this was your plan."

I shook my head quickly. "It was not." I squeaked.

She leaned down and snuggled into my neck. "Do you mind if I just stay right here?"

"I mind, it's a little against hospital policy for this much making out and physical contact." Someone said as they walked in.

I looked over and saw the doctor that's been helping me for the past few day. "Hello, Dr. Smith." I said to him.

Lilith slid next to me, and arm wrapped around me with her hand on my stomach. She was sort of glaring at the doctor, but not with any anger in her eyes. "You ruined a perfectly good moment, man."

"Oh don't worry, I've ruined plenty of those, but this will probably be the last one I ruin for you two." He smiled. "I've got some paperwork to do, you've got some things to sign, and then we've got a basic physical to do, but after that you're all good to go. At most, two more days."

The look on Lilith's face was fantastic. She looked so happy and even squealed like a little kid. I feel like she doesn't act girly for very many things, so it made me feel really special while she was this excited for this. The kiss she gave me afterwards felt like heaven.