My Secret

Chapter 5

"Can I see them?" he asks, once he pulls away.

"Wait here," I say, getting off the couch and walking out towards the car.

"Mama, Aunt Kacey told us the story of when you fell into the pool and came up with water in your nose," Rosie says as I open the back door.

I shoot an unamused glance at Kacey, "Really Kay? That was like ten years ago."

"But it's still funny," she says, snorting with laughter. "How did it go?"

"Actually, surprisingly well. He wants to see them," I say before turning to the kids. "Do you guys want to see your dad?"

"He's here?" Ryder asks, peering out of the car door.

"Yes," I say, scooping them both up.

"Is it okay if I text Ryan to meet us here?" Kacey asks.

"Sure, but let me explain, okay?"

"Of course."

"We're going to see Daddy!" the twins squeal.

When I enter the house I see Brandon sitting on the couch where I had left him. As soon as Rosetta sees her father, she wiggles out of my arms and throws herself into his arms, wrapping her tiny arms around her neck. I look down at Ryder and notice him burying his face in my neck, his shyness overtaking him.

"He's your dad, baby. Go say hi," I say, gently setting him on the ground.

Ryder gets his shyness from me where as Rosie gets her outgoing personality from her dad. She's always the first one to make new friends at the playground while Ryder just silently follows in her shadow. The only time he let's his bubbly personality out is when he's with family or people he knows very well.

"Hey bud," Brandon says, reaching a hand out for Ryder.

"Hi," Ryder whispers, slowly approaching his dad.

"Ryder it's okay, this is Daddy. He won't hurt us," Rosie chirps, letting go of her father and going up to her brother, wrapping an arm around him. "Come on, we'll go together."

Rosie leads Ryder to Brandon and Brandon reaches out for both the kids, pulling them in for a tight hug. I watch as, bit by bit, Ryder's body slowly starts relaxing into Brandon's embrace. I look at them and stare down at Brandon, noting the pure happiness shining in his eyes.

"We're leaving someone out," Brandon says, letting go of the twins.

"Mama!" Ryder yells, "Come on, hug time!"

I laugh as I join them all for a group hug, making sure the twins are included in both our arms. Ryder is pressed against my chest and Rosie is against Brandon's making a nice child sandwich. Brandon's arms wrap around my waist and I inhale sharply, my body had missed his touch and I gladly wrap my own arms around him.

"Ryan's here," Kacey calls, walking into the living room.

Ryan walks in behind her and he stops dead in his tracks when he sees me. He takes note of Brandon's position with me, but he doesn't seem to notice the kids in our arms. He walks up to me and, without warning, tries to pull me away from Brandon, whose grip tightens almost immediately. Rosie and Ryder, who I expected to say hi to the newcomer, are sitting in between us quietly, waiting for something to happen.

"I can't believe you, man. She walks out of your life with no explanation whatsoever and she just waltzes back in here like the last four years have never happened and you gladly take her back into your arms. Do you not remember all the nights you stayed up crying about her? Do you not remember everything you said to me about her? You said you'd never let her walk back into your life ever again and here you are, letting the girl that ruined you come back. I thought you were smarter than that, to fall for whatever manipulation she's putting you through. I'm not going to stand here and let this bitch hurt you again," Ryan says and I hold back the tears that are beginning to fill my eyes.

"Ryan," Kacey scolds but it's too late, the damage is already done.

I stand up and find the kitchen, spotting a back door on the other side. I rush towards it and pull it open, stepping outside and closing it behind me. I spot some lawn chairs by the pool and I go sit on one, my back facing the door as I replay all the things Ryan said.

I know I made him suffered but I suffered too. It broke my heart to leave and I realize now that it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but I acted on impulsivity, something I have the habit of doing. I think what hurts the most is everything Ryan said in the house. He has never said a hateful thing about anyone and he never swears, which is why it surprised me to hear everything he said.

"Mama," I hear and I turn to see Ryder and Rosie heading towards me, Brandon right behind them.

"Guys, just please leave Mama alone right now, okay?" I ask, staring back at the pool.

"You guys go back inside and hang out with Aunt Kacey for a little bit. I'll stay here and watch Mama, I promise," Brandon says.

"Okay," they say before they both rush up to me and kiss my cheek before running back inside.

"Are you..., okay?" Brandon asks, sitting next to me.

"Of course I'm not. I just got a reality check from someone I used to call a best friend, and you know what? It hurts being reminded of what I probably put you through and you don't know how many nights I stayed awake wondering what you were doing, wondering if you missed me and still cared. I will never be able to express how sorry I am for leaving, I never will because I know I messed up really bad and there's no way to fix it."

"There is." It's just a soft whisper but I hear it.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not mad at you, I realize why you left and honestly I'm proud of you. You made a life for yourself and your children with minimal help and I'm so proud of you. Maybe we can start over?"

I open my mouth, ready to answer the question that will change lives again.

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So, what do you guys think about ryan's outburst? Also, what do you guys think Abby say, should she take Brandon back? Leave a comment on what you think and don't forget to vote.

Lots of Love

Abby