Last One Standing (wattys2017) (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

What Do You Do

"What are you waiting for?" she asked, "Get in here."

*

Griffin and I didn't spend a lot of time at Katrina's. After meeting Kaelyn, we decided it would be best if we let the three of them have some alone time.

I decided it'd be best if we walked around town for a while, considering there was a likely chance we'd get caught in traffic if we went into the city any time soon.

It wasn't until we were a few blocks from Kat's house that Griffin spoke, "What the hell is going on with you today?"

"What?" I stopped beside an old mailbox.

"I understand you have a lot of shit going on, Alex, but can you at least try to be optimistic about this? Maybe we won't find her, but that won't stop us from looking, right? She's out there somewhere." he threw his hands up in exasperation before letting them fall against his face.

"What do you wan me to do, Griffin?" I whispered, stepping in front of him, "Do you want me to act like none of it is affecting me? Like I'm the same girl I was when I was naive to the world? Is that what you want?"

I held my hand up when he opened his mouth to protest my questions.

"I don't know what it is that everyone expects from me. To my dad, I'm the disposable mistake he made when he was twenty-one. To my brothers, I'm just the youngest kid in the family. To Toby I'm just someone for him to use until he finds someone else. My own mother didn't even want me, Griffin. So what is it? What am I to you?" I pushed my hands against his chest, tears stinging the back of my eyes.

"I-" He began.

"You wanted me to be more of a girl, right? So what's more girly than having an emotional and mental breakdown? I'm sorry I can't be the perfect girl for you, Griffin. I'm sorry I don't like caking my face in makeup and wearing tight shirts and skirts all the time. I'm sorry if I don't like change and wish that everything in my life would stay in order and remain the same. I'm sorry I can't be enough for anyone." I started to back away, but he grabbed my wrist to keep me from walking back the way we came.

He didn't say anything; maybe it was because there wasn't anything he could really say. He stood silent, his fingers clasped around my wrist as he stared down at me.

"You know what's tiring, Alexis?" He managed to get out a few minutes later, "Pretending to be someone you aren't."

"You think you're the only one in the world that has identity issues, Alex? I can't look at myself in the mirror and give a full description of who I am. I can say I'm a quarterback. I can say I'm the son of a Japanese woman and an English man that were raised in the backwoods of Kentucky together. I can tell you I have girls lining up to sleep with me. But none of that is me, it's what everyone sees me as." he sat on the short wall around a tree, rubbing his hands against his face.

"I don't know where I fit into this world. I'm not as smart as you are, I'm constantly told that I should be focused on things that I hate and get the thought of ever being a football player out of my head. My mother tells me I should be a doctor and my dad wants me to be a lawyer. Do you know how hard it is to choose between letting your parents down and letting your friends and fans down? Do you understand what it's like to know that the only person you know you truly love is off limits?" he turned to me with a vulnerable look.

I looked away and down at the concrete, "I know exactly how that feels."

"Let me guess, your in love with that little ratkeeper, right? Because he's been there for you, he-"

"I'm in love with the thought of the truth, Griffin! I'm sick and tired of everyone's petty bullshit, alright? I want to be the one that gets to cry for myself for once. I want to cry over the thought of meeting my twin brother only to have him die. I want to cry over my mother leaving me and my father calling me a mistake. I want to cry over it all, but I can't."

"Why can't you?" his voice was barely audible.

"I'm the glue that holds my family together, Griffin. If I let go, all of my brother's will come down with me and I can't let that happen." he rose and took my shoulders in his hands, staring intensely into my eyes.

"You need to let someone in, Alexis."

"And you want that to be you?" I guessed, shaking my head. "Make up your mind, Griffin. Either you find me disgusting or you like me, it can't be both. When you get over your mood swings, come find me." I tore myself out of his grip and stalked away before he could collect his thoughts and come running after me.

*

I had read over the address on the letters my mother had sent to my father so many times it had become permanently imprinted in my head. As the taxi slowed to a stop along the curb of the old, Victorian style house surrounded by beds of grass, I started to question if I was ready to do this.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I handed the driver the cash and climbed out of the car, shutting the door hard behind me. I headed up the driveway quickly, knowing that the Taxi driver was the furthest from pleased by my action.

"I know you're not here." I whispered to the letter in my back pocket as I crossed the grass and moved up the stone path to the porch, "But please let them know where you are."

I stood on the front porch for a minute or so before rapping at the door, my knuckles throbbing by the time I pulled my hand back and dropped it at my side.

Dogs barking and footsteps filled the silence, the doorknob twisting soon following. I lifted my head up and forced out a shaky breath, preparing myself for what may be behind the closed door.

Nothing could have prepared me for what faced me once the door clicked and swung open.

"Alexis?"

***AN***

Decided on a double update because the last chapter wasn't super eventful! 

Let me know what you guys thought! Who do you think is on the otherside of the door? Is it her mother? 

Hope you enjoyed!

~ChasingMadness24