Darling You'll Be Okay (Kellic)

Mad At Myself

~Vic’s POV

After I shoved, lovingly, Kellic in the car, I got into the drivers side and started the car. We drove in silence for a couple minutes before I put a CD on.

“I’m so mad at myself. For given in, to what I want...” The song played through filling the air of my car with music. Although the lyrical content may have been a little odd for the situation, I didn’t really mind. I just quietly head-banged in my seat and looked over at Kellin every so often. He was turned towards the window, curled up in his seat.

When we pulled into the Walmart parking lot, I pulled into the parking lot but left the car on.

“You know this is where we first met.” I said, looking out the window.

“Really?” Kellin didn’t move from his position.

“Yeah, Alex told me you weren’t gay.” I smiled at the memory, and the idea of Kellin being straight was pretty funny.

“Well I wasn’t at the time.”

“People don’t change sexuality Kells. You are whatever sexuality you are, but yours was just suppressed.” Was that too harsh?

“I guess.” God Kellin, please work with me here.

“Ok, you are coming in with me. Get out.” I took the keys from the ignition and got out, walking over to the passenger side door and opening it.

“I don’t want to.” Kellin said, his head curled into his chest.

“Well that sucks for you because you are getting out anyways, weather you like it or not. If I have to carry you I will.” I was leaning down to get him out of the car when he stopped me.

“Don’t touch me.” Kellin stood up and got out of the car himself.

“Kellin, please talk to me. Why are you suddenly so angry with me? I don’t understand…” He just continued to walk into the store. For the next twenty minutes, I basically trailed behind Kellin as he wandered around the store. I wasn’t sure exactly how many of us there would be tonight, so I just picked up as much food and drink as I could. Chips and dip, for the normal people. I would probably just want something with nothing in it so diet soda and veggies. And I also got multiple boxes of hot chocolate and toaster waffles and syrup for morning food. As well as coffee. So all in all, too much food for a night and possibly morning that was going to be very very long.

Kellin didn’t ask anything our whole trip. He just wandered and looked kind of distraught the whole time. He was being oddly quiet and kept scratching and rubbing his arms and legs. Hopefully not for the reasons that I suspected. I prayed to god it wasn’t for anything other than being cold. After I payed, I noticed that Alex wasn’t working. Maybe he would be there tonight...Once we were both out of the store, I unloaded all our crap into my car, got Kellin in and buckled and got in myself. The drive to Sydney and Allyson’s house was short and I was wondering about the parking rule of now cars anywhere near the house. I really didn’t want to carry all this shit from eight blocks away though. But I could just drive the car somewhere after we unloaded everything.

I pulled into the drive was and noticed a few lights on inside.

“Kellin, you can-” But he was already out of the car and walking inside. “Go in…” So I was left alone to take all this food inside. I was both excited and nervous for tonight. Not because I thought it would go badly, but just because we hadn’t had to have one of these in a really long time. So with ten bags on my arms, I waddled my way to the front door, banging on it with my foot until and half dressed Allyson came to the door.