As I snuggled onto the couch in the thick blanket James had provided, I couldn't help but realize that the feeling that outweighed the rest wasn't disgust, or anger...but jealousy. I turned to the balcony overlooking the city and shut my eyes tightly.
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I woke up with a sigh and pulled out my cell phone. 3:30AM. I looked around, stretching, and then flopped back down as I realized I was still alone and in the dark. I slowly walked up to the balcony and looked over. The street below was still busy, mainly with taxis and other vehicles, but I sensed a sort of silence about it. It was relaxing, but also had an eerie feel to it.
I leaned over the balcony, too sad to realize I was deathly afraid of heights and how dangerously close I was getting to jumping over completely. I felt the cool air whip my face and shut my eyes. It was all so peaceful, I just felt like falling....Falling.
Suddenly, my stomach didn't feel the hard edge against it any more. My arms waved wildly around me as I realized I was nearly tipping over. I screamed silently and tears of panic rushed to my eyes. I tried to feel at the cool cement under my feet but all I felt was air as I keeled over towards the edge. I was...falling.
I heard a grunt as somebody grabbed me tightly around the waist and pulled me back. I whimpered as I fell face forward onto somebody. I was too afraid to open my eyes, so instead, kept them closed.
Until, somebody shouted, "Are you okay?! Hey! HEY!" I felt a few hard thumps on my back and awoke with a jolt.
I looked into James golden eyes and for once felt relieved to see them. I grabbed him and hugged him close.
He had just save my life. Me.
"Thank-you...Thank-you so much.." I murmured into his bare chest. I didn't care anymore.
For a while James lay there, limp, just letting me cling to him. Then I slowly felt arms close around my waist and he held me tight. I nearly wanted to cry, I felt so happy to actually be there with the douche I had just hated hours ago.
After a few more minutes of holding each other close, I snapped back to reality and pulled away, wiping away my tears self-consciously.
James looked intensely at me for a few more seconds. "Are you okay?" he asked in a quiet, mysteriously gruff voice.
I nodded and hugged my knees against the balcony. He pulled me back and said, "Stay away from there.."
I just sat there as he pulled me close to his side. A few seconds later, the warm sensation that rushed inside me froze as he said harshly, "What the HELL is wrong with you anyway?!...Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" he shouted.
"Shut up," I murmured.
He looked at me in disbelief. "That's how you repay me?"
"No," I said quickly. "I just meant my mom is asleep and she'll hear...I don't want her to be worried," I mumbled.
He silently agreed.
I tried to stand but my knees only buckled and I fell back onto my butt. I tried again, with the same results.
The third time I tried, James caught me before I fell. He pulled up my legs and carried me into the house. I was surprised to see him taking me into the second room and not onto the couch this time.
As he carried me, we looked into each others' eyes...I felt like he was drawing me into their honey colored pools with a magnet, I just couldn't stop looking away. He placed me on the bed and gently pulled the blanket up to my stomach. I looked at him, and he at me.
I shook as he leaned close to me. His amber eyes were intensified by the darkness of the room and all I could see of his features, his lips, nose, dark brown hair; was a shadowy silhouette as he came closer and closer.
We were inches away...A breath away...Lips away...
I took a deep breath and waited...
Waited.
I felt the softness of his lips before I could think about pulling back. I slowly, slowly inserted my lips into his and kissed him. He paused, and then with the same slowness, leaned forward with his hands on both sides of me, and, still sitting on the edge of the bed, returned my kiss.
It was so peaceful, so slow and sure, that I almost wanted to wrap my arms around his neck. So I did. And even though my heart was pounding so fast I thought it would stop altogether, I continued that slow, easy pace with him, him occasionally sucking softly on my bottom lip.
Finally, after I felt like my heart would swell if I did any more, I pulled off and leaned against the head board. James also fell back and sat quietly on the side of the bed.
It was so beautifully quiet that I almost didn't want to ruin the silence, so I only scooted toward him. He looked at me with an expression I couldn't read and caressed my hand softly, almost as if he were reading it.
I held my breath as he leaned toward me again. This time, he only held a lock of my hair near my shoulders and pushed it back, my shoulder bare except for the thick Nike tank top strap. I felt like my head was swirling.
Then, before I could grab at his hand, he stood, and silently, with the swishing sound of his slipper-covered footsteps, stepped out of the room and closed the door halfway.
I let go of my breath and fell back against the pillow.
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Having an Affair with My Soon-to-Be Stepdad [6]
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