Normal - S.M.

Intro to me

Hi. My name is Ella Haas, and for those who can't pronounce it, it's eh-lah. Just kidding, I know you can pronounce that, my last name is pronounced Hahs, kind of like the laugh, but plural. Ha-s. 

Whatever, I don't really give a shit if you can pronounce my name or not. So, about me. I am 17, I have nO FUCKING FRIENDS, other than my somewhat-in-between friend Haley. She used to be nice, then she became popular, abandoned me, then comes back to 'visit' sometimes. I don't know what to do with her, she's my only hope so I keep letting her back into my sad life. 

Oh! Another thing about me you should probably know is that anxiety is a big part of my life. Anxiety, social anxiety, apprehension, ass, whatever you want to call it. Go ahead, substitute that last word for anxiety in the sentence before it. You get me ;). Anyways, so because I have anxiety, I am EXTREMELY awkward around new people. And crowds. And public places. And people I feel intimidated by. SO BASICALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD, other than my little nook in my room where I go to escape and relax. 

There I sit in my beanbag, breathe, and listen to Shawn Mendes. Yet again, another big part of my life, we are just on a roll aren't we! So many large aspects of my life you get to learn about. So I love Shawn Mendes, for many reasons. The main reason is His kind heart and soul. Others would normally say His music or His looks. Now I can't disagree with them, 'cause I mean DAMN that boy is hot. And His music. Not going to leave out the music. His music calms me and relaxes me, His voice puts me at ease. 

But back to his heart of gold, Shawn cares so much about others and is constantly thanking others for what they've done even though it doesn't compare to the work He has done for us. He is so gracious and what puts a smile on His face is seeing other's faces light up due to whatever act of God he has done that time. He is such a role model, I strive to be like Him someday. But I know that won't happen because of my FUCKING ANXIETY! BACK AT IT AGAIN (said like damn daniel) WITH RUINING MY HOPES AND DREAMS. Now because I have a hard time talking to new people and being in crowded places, it will be hard for me to, well, talk to new people and be in crowded places. I hope that makes sense to you because if not, I'm not quite sure what you don't get about that. 

Since you want to know allllll about my life like the little stalker you are, another fact about me is that I am smart. Everyone thinks I'm dumb because I don't have to present projects in front of the class or I can't talk to any of the students. Well guess what you bitch student human beans, I ain't no fucking chump who can't spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. 

I am smart, I may have a hard time showing it but I bet that I have better grades then all you idiot normal humans. Different is good. To some degree, it can be an ass too I guess. No one liking you, having to explain yourself every 5 minutes, being scared everywhere you go, people judging you and making fun of you. Actually, I take back what I said earlier. 

Being different sucks.

I wish I was normal, I wish I was like everyone else, I wish I could walk the halls of the fricking school and not have my heart run a goddamn marathon. I think that's enough you need to know about me to start this story. More than enough, actually. Oh well, can't take it back, enjoyyyyyyyyyyyy.  

A/N 

OK! So here is the first chapter, narrated by Ella talking directly to you. PleAse let me know what yOu think so i can decide whether to keep writing or not. I have a few chapters already written, but at the moment i am a little stuck. Y'all can help me decide what to write if you catch up to where i am. Thanks for reading! 

Love, 

Parker