step into the sun ☼ deh

viii

chapter eight
mother's day
evan pov

trigger warnings: none

Zoe's apartment was downtown, which wasn't super close, but I could still be able to visit before Mia got home. I had the name of her apartment complex and apartment number written down on a piece of paper that kept in my wallet. Unfortunately, I didn't tell Zoe that I was coming beforehand...

"Who is it?" Zoe asked, as I buzzed her apartment.

"Evan..." I told her...

There was a long period of silence, but then I heard a buzz from the intercom.

"Just head up..." Zoe said, quietly. I opened the door to the building, and headed up the elevator to the second floor. My heart was beating out of my chest. I haven't seen Zoe in a couple months, but this time was a bit important.. I wanted Zoe to know that Mia was learning about Connor, and The Connor Project, and that Mia might be meeting her mother sooner than we all thought.

When I got to the second floor, I quickly walked to Zoe's room-2C. I knocked on the door, and Zoe quickly opened the door. Her hair was in a messy bun, and her small frame was hidden in a loose-white t-shirt.

"Hi..." I said, quietly.

"Hey, Evan... Look, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were coming I-"

"No, no, no... It's my fault. I'm sorry, I never called," I told her.

"Do you want to come in?" Zoe asked me.

I nodded, and Zoe opened the door to her apartment. The apartment hadn't really changed, since the last time I have visited. Her apartment was mostly white, and the only unorganized thing that I saw was her coffee table. Ten books were sprawled out on the table. Some were still opened. There was writing in black pen in the books, most were arrows, with messy handwriting that I couldn't really read it, unless I squinted. There was the occasional star drawn on each of the pages.

"So... what did you need to talk about?"Zoe asked, bringing two mugs of tea over to her couch, "You can sit down if you want..."

I sat down next to Zoe on the couch. I had no idea how to word this for Zoe to understand. I didn't want to freak her out or anything, but I guess what I needed to tell her was bound to freak her out.

"I... Uh... I think Mia...found out about Connor..." I mustered out.

"Like... What do you mean?" Zoe asked. I could tell she was confused.

"Well, uh... The other day, I saw her texting one of her friends about The Connor Project..."

Zoe was quiet for a few seconds after that. I still had no idea if I was doing the right thing or not. Maybe I shouldn't have told her...

"I was always afraid that with would happen..." Zoe whispered. She leaned her head on my shoulder, and my heart started to race faster (and my hands were getting sweaty, of course.) It almost felt like old times, but I wasn't sure if now would be the time for reminiscing. "Do you know how she found out?"

"I'm not sure..." I said, quietly, "Do you... Do you think this... mightbeagoodtimeforyoutomeether?"

I knew I shouldn't have said that, the moment the words left my mouth.

"I'm not sure that would be the best idea..." Zoe shot back.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"No, you don't have to apologize... I mean, I feel like I'm too late. She's a senior in high school, she's moving out in a matter of months... Plus, I'm scared that she might be freaked out that the sister of the kid that her father was supposedly best friends with is her mom."

"I'm sorry... I guess it would be weird to find out that the person you've been reading about online is your uncle..."

Zoe laughed, "I can't imagine Connor as an uncle..." her face fell serious, "I guess that also means that I can't imagine myself as a mom... I suck..."

My stomach dropped. I wouldn't say I knew how my mom felt, when my father left. My father, obviously didn't care about me, while Zoe cared about Mia. A lot, actually. Zoe didn't raise Mia, because she wanted what would be best for Mia. When Mia was born, I was just starting out as a phycologist, and Zoe was finishing up some of her studies, since she was working towards being a journalist. It was actually kind of funny, because she started out in astrology, and she wanted to work at NASA for a while, but he changed her mind in the middle of freshman year of college. Anyways, Zoe still had her senior year left of college, after Mia was born, so I took care of Mia as a single dad for that year. My absolute favorite picture is the one that I took of Zoe, holding a one-year-old Mia, after her graduation. Zoe started a journalism job for a well-known newspaper, and she had to travel the state a lot. Zoe didn't want to hold back on this opportunity, especially since she accepted the job straight out of college, and the newspaper was hard to get into that early. Zoe wasn't in a very good place to take care of Mia, also because she had to report a couple of tragedies around the state, and they reminded her of Connor. It kind of took a toll on her mental health. Therefore, we figured it would be best of Zoe kind of took a while to figure things out, and I took care of Mia.

I pulled Zoe close, "Zoe... you weren't in... a good place to raise Mia. Your health is important. Mia was okay, and she's great now," I reassured.

"I know, but I kind of wish I was there more. I mean, Mia's graduating soon. I kept telling myself 'I'll be there for Mia, when I'm ready', and now I've pretty such missed my chance... I haven't even been in the same room with Mia since she was fifteen, and I haven't talked to her since she was one. I just wish I did better..." Zoe said.

I looked down at the coffee table, and noticed the ten books sprawled about.

Animal Farm

To Kill A Mockingbird

The Outsiders

The Giver

Bridge To Terabitha

The Hunger Games

Les Miserables

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Ten Days in a Madhouse

Cat's Cradle

"Are these-?"

"Connor's favorite books. I went to Barnes and Noble and bought the ones I couldn't find at the old house. I've actually brought myself to read all of them," she smiled.

"Zoe, if you want to talk about anything-whether it's Connor, or Mia-I'm here."

Zoe smiled. "Thank you... For everything..."

author's note

woah guys it's not Tuesday or Thursday...

I just decided to publish some bonus chapters, because I just got casted in the musical Into The Woods at my high school, and because of that, I'm going to get kinda busy soooo enjoy the new chapters (I was also excited for these that featured Zoe a little more, because she's great aha)