Bones

They'll never be you

Baby...
my love
my bestest
friend.
I am sorry you're gone
from the life
I am now living.

You see
I have these friends
hundreds and thousands
of them.

But they wear designer socks
and I get lost in their houses
because they're
massive!
and they sleep with each other
behind their girlfriend
or boyfriends backs
They do drugs on the
weekend
and invite me to hang
out
whilst all these things happen
in front of me.

But I dont mind it.
They're happy;
fun.
They understand that
life really hurts
sometimes.

and if something
goes wrong
they say
just
fuck it.

And I laugh
and it's
okay.

But I'm fooling myself.
Because
it's not okay.

I haven't been okay
since you
walked away.

I don't want
anymore
parties
drinking and doing
stupid shit.

I want to trade books
and sip caramel
hot chocolate
and eat toast in bed
with you.

I want to watch the
Twilight movies
and see you
fallen asleep beside me
before the movie ends.

I want to show my writing to someone
who gets it
and doesn't just glaze
their eyes
but some who
knows every detail
just like me.

I want you there when I graduate
cap and gown
and best friend.
I want you on my wedding day,
holding my hand
saying it's okay.

I want you
as we grow up
and find careers of our own.

I want you when we
have our first children.
And we'll tell them how we
survived all of this
every little detail.

They'll be friends like us.
Like we were.

But although
I want to be at all
your
special moments too,
I can't ask for these things,
even though I want them so badly.

Even though I know you miss me,
you don't want me around.

So I do another shot,
and laugh as my
friends do stupid
shit
around me.

But they'll never be you.

They may do all these things,
and nothing too.
But at least there here.

But they'll never
be
you.