golden crown// l.s |mild bdsm/ddlb|

chapter four

Louis walked down the halls, his head down and eyes hooded. He didn't want to see the looks of annoyance he knew everyone held towards him.

Hearing Harry and Liam talking by his locker, Louis just kept walking. He didn't want to bother them like he had done so much before.

"Lou-"

Louis walked faster, he knew, knew, Harry didn't actually want to talk to him. He only did it because Louis never left him alone. Louis pulled his hood over his head, trying to feel safer under the comfort of his jacket. He hadn't been held in days and although that's normal for anyone else, Louis loved being babied. Thrived, even. But he knew he had to back off. He couldn't bother people any longer.

Liam hadn't spoken a word to him since the night it all went wrong. He didn't look in Louis' direction and if they were ever home alone, Liam left before any sort of apology could possibly be established and Liam's problem with confrontation affected Louis more than he knew.

With Liam's miscommunication issues, Louis assumed Liam hated him. He thought that was okay. He hated himself, too.

Louis sat in the back of his first period class. He didn't like it because he couldn't see the words on the board too well and he didn't want to be made fun of for wearing his glasses to school again so he just squinted and tried to subtly look at anyone else's notes that he could see.

"Good morning, class. Today you will get your tests from earlier this week passed back to you, alright?"

The whole class in unison said, "yes ma'am," before Mrs. Yoder passed the english exams back. She got to Louis and smiled a tight smile before placing his paper down in front of him. He had a fat, red, angry F on the top of his page.

Louis started to panic. He never got anything below a B, he couldn't have gotten an F, right?

The paper slipped between his fingers as he turned page after page of his test, reading the notes Mrs. Yoder had written next to every wrong answer. Louis wanted to cry.

In that moment he was happy he sat in the back now. He shouldn't be a bother to anyone and no one could see the silent tears dripping down his chin onto his failed test. Mrs. Yoder continued to go on and on about participle phrases and how to write essays; Louis continued to cry.

He felt angry. He didn't deserve an F and now he wasted his poor teachers time grading such an awful paper. He was horrible, why couldn't he just stop being a burden?

The bell rang and he slowly got up from his chair. He slipped his paper into his folder, picking up his backpack and heading to Mrs. Yoder's desk.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Yoder. I'd l-like to a-a-apologize for the w-waste of time I caused be-because of my test score." His voice was thick with tears. Louis tried not to let any waves crash onto his cheeks as he asked what he could do to make up his grade.

"Honey, why don't you take a break for awhile? Is everything alright?"

Mrs. Yoder was a nice lady, she cared, which was more than most adults these days and that hurt Louis even more. Someone cared about him and all he could do was let them down by failing an easy test.

"Yes ma'am, I'm just so sorry. I have to get to class now, I'm sorry."

Louis rushed out of the classroom and into the nearest bathroom. Shutting and locking the door, Louis nails were frantic against his legging-clad thigh. He pierced his index finger into the fabric making a tiny hole and stretched it out to scratch his bare skin, feeling the burn as his nails raked across his tender thigh. He whimpered lightly when one itch in particular left a bleeding line on his leg.

Seeing crimson, he snapped out of his fit. His hands wadded around toilet paper, he dabbed his now sensitive leg, making sure the blood didn't get onto the floor or anywhere but his own body.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to himself and that seemed to be the only thing he said anymore; a chorus of i'm sorry.

The bathroom door creaked open and Louis triple checked the lock on the stall, choosing to ignore the strangers who had entered the dim bathroom.

The two boys began to speak and he recognized them as Liam and Harry.

"I'm sorry, Li. I know it's hard. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, have you talked to him?"

"No."

"What? Liam, why? The poor boy must think you hate him. Please talk to him today. He has to be going through a lot. You talked to Stan?"

"No."

Louis whimpered softly at the sound of his name.

Liam nor Harry spoke again until, "hello? I can see your shoes."

Liam was knocking on the bathroom door. If he saw Louis, bleeding and holes in his pants, he would worry. Liam couldn't worry. Liam had to go to college and be successful, just like their father wanted.

Louis stayed quiet to avoid hearing his own annoying voice.

"Lou, I saw you wearing those shoes today, please come out."

This time, Harry spoke, his voice soft and smooth and Louis almost wanted to make an angel out of Harry but he stayed quiet, only standing and opening the door a little. He wrapped his arms around his stomach the second the stall door was behind him. He was so disgusting, repulsive.

"Hey, Lou, listen, I miss you, Bubba. Please don't think you're okay or fine because you're not. I'm not sure what I did wrong but I'm sorry!" Liam pulled him into a hug and Louis wanted so badly to wrap his arms around his twin but he couldn't get his hands away from his tummy. It would sag and he breathed so heavy, Liam would definitely pull away.

"Hug me. Please," Liam pleaded in a whisper.

Louis couldn't make him angry so he moved his arms, feeling his pooch become more noticeable but ignored it, simply wrapping his arms around Liam and trying to forget.