The War of Queens

Chapter 21

Angelique

 Angelique’s mouth pressed into a thin line as she watched Roynar hold his speech. He was telling them of Elizabeth’s needs, as he called it, urging them to join her cause. Of course, he would not be joining, and Angelique sensed that the rest of the ashmen were less than eager to join once those words had passed their leaders lips.

 Loftur approached her afterwards. Kohl circled his eyes in for once even lines, making the whites of his eyes stand out. They were widened, so much so that she could see the entire circle of dirty green within them. “You’re leaving?”

 Something about his voice made her look away. She had known enough cheating men to know what her gesture symbolized. Guilt. But I am not guilty…

 “Why did you not tell me?”

 She forced herself to look into his eyes. It took her a moment to remove her eyes again, shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”  Her voice was so frail that she was almost ashamed o

 “You know I can’t go with you,” he stated. “Roynar and I… we’ve been friends since our first raid.”

 His eyes took a reminiscent look and Angelique stepped toward him, touching his arm in a fleeting touch. “Tell me,” she said, taking his hand, backing him towards the road that led to his cabin.

 “There isn’t much to tell.” He followed her with reluctance, but he did follow.

 She looked up at him. “I’ve never tried this before,” she told him.

 He stopped walking and held her by the elbow until she stopped, too, and turned to him. “Tried what?”

 She furrowed and shrugged, looking anywhere but at him. “This,” she told him, and her limbs were finally still. Her gaze settled on his. “Caring.”

 “Caring?”

 She longed for him then. Not just his touch, but him; his warmth. It hurt so much and she knew she could not. Whatever it was she wanted, she could not. Instead, she wrapped her own arms around herself.

 He stepped closer to her, and she felt relief. “Caring?” Two fingers under her chin tipped her face upwards and their eyes met.

 “Yes,” she whispered.

 His lips pressed against her, softly, like the first, clumsy kiss she had ever had. And there was the hope for more softness, more clumsiness, and more sweetness. But the world was not soft or sweet and she knew that disappointment hurt more than a sword cutting through her guts. His arms around her might be misleading, but she knew where she belonged, and this was not the place. I belong by Elizabeth’s side, she thought, fighting her war.

 “You could stay with me,” he whispered. His breath hit her ear in warm puffs.

 “You know I can’t.”

 He leaned back to look at her. “I know.”

 His lips already felt natural, moving against hers clumsily, frustratingly soft. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing them closer, biting his lips and clawing at his tunic. She did not want softness. She wanted ferocity; she wanted a battlefield. Those were things she knew how to handle, but this…

 He slowed her down by putting a hand on either side of her face, holding her still as he kissed her. It burns…

 They fell into the tall grasses together. His lips were everywhere, and his hands travelled the length of her body. Her eyes fell closed as he helped her out of her clothing, kissing a trail down her abdomen until he was kneeling between her legs. She sat upright, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and drawing him in for a kiss. Her fingers began undoing his clothing, but when she opened her eyes to remove his shirt, it was suddenly dark.