Prompts to a Certain Someone

Anxiety

I'm sitting down in the middle of the night, contemplating the dark and hearing the wind go by. The shadows of the trees move against my window, and my heart starts beating at the rate of it's dance.

Everyone is asleep, too deeply to notice, too dreamy to even imagine what's going on. And at that moment comes the sudden realization that in this room I share, I'm still alone.

At that moment, the peaceful silence that filled this place mercilessly takes over. It becomes cruel and screams loneliness. And my heart skips a beat. And I jump and my breath becomes faster.

Faster.

Faster.

Faster.

I'm sitting down in the middle of the night. But this time the kingdom of darkness that I have always loved so much becomes my enemy.

Breathe.

Breathe.

I tell myself to breathe. But it becomes harder and harder each time. The consuming need to breathe as deeper as I can. And the dreadful sensation that my lungs are becoming smaller and tighter seems to be the only thing I can feel.

My back gets tense, even more than it usually is. My head burns in a specific spot as I try not to think about every little sensation in my body, and every tiny detail that surrounds me at once.

I get dizzy.

My foot starts moving involuntarily and my hands gets tight as I try to fight the unceasing need to bite my nails. Or maybe crack my jaw. Any tension releaser would work.

Scream. Try to scream.

But I can't scream. Cause no one has to know. No one should worry.