*Warning: May be triggering for some people*
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"Ew, is that y/n?"
"Oml why is he dating that?"
"Is he getting paid to date her?"
"Why is she even alive?"
Recently Colby and I decided that it was time for the fans to meet me. Colby was hesitant at first because he likes to protect me and wasn't sure how the fans were going to react. Of course being the naive person I am, I thought everything was going to be okay and that everyone would see how happy we were together and be happy for us.
I was wrong.
I have been receiving emails, messages via social media, and even letters from people hating on me.
Colby doesn't know.
He'd just be worried all the time, and I don't want that for him.
He's just been so stressed out lately with getting footage, editing videos, helping his friends, and still being able to spend time with me; telling him would only add to the list.
But now it's starting to get bad.
The hate just comes in waves and I don't know how much more I can take.
It's not exactly a secret that I used to cut.
Colby knows all about my past and how I was brought up with an alcoholic mother and abusive father.
He's the one who got me out of that horrid place and helped me start over.
One day he saw my cuts and asked about them.
I told him that they were my escape.
After my father would beat me, I wasn't allowed to cry. If I made even the smallest peep, I was done for. So, I would just keep all the emotions in.
Cutting my wrists helped me focus on something. It distracted me.
After I explain all this to Colby he started to tear up and made me promise to never harm myself again. And I haven't broken that promise since.
Until today.
I sat against the wall on the bathroom floor with my phone in one hand, and a blade in the other.
"y/n is just using him."
"she's such a freak."
"I'm so sorry Colby, I had no idea you were dating that thing."
"she doesn't deserve him."
With every comment and every nasty remark, the blade got closer and closer.
"She's just wasted space."
The blade hit my skin.
"He doesn't love her."
I slid it across my arm slowly.
"She's not good enough for him."
Blood poured over my wrist.
"Y/N WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?" Colby rushed in and took blade out of my hand.
He pulled me up and sat me on the counter, while grabbing a cloth to clean my wounds.
All the while he did this, I just sat there with a blank stare.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!? YOU COULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF... IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? FOR ME TO COME IN HERE AND FIND YOU LIFELESS ON THE FLOOR?" Colby yelled at me while wrapping my arm.
I couldn't look at him.
He grabbed my chin and made me look him in the eyes.
"y/n... you promised," he whispered while tearing up.
At that, I broke down.
He grabbed me and carried me to our bed. He laid us down and cuddled with me; whispering sweet nothings into my ear while stroking my hair.
"Wanna tell me what happen," he asked after kissing the top of my head.
I shook my head no.
He sighed, "y/n I care about you so much. I can't stand to see you like this. Please, let me help you." Colby pleaded.
I looked up at him.
"I'm scared..." I whispered with tears filling my eyes.
"Scared of what baby girl?" he said while hugging me tighter.
"Of not being enough for you."
Colby was completely taken back.
"Not enough? Is that what you think? Baby, you're more than enough... your my everything!" Colby said while tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
"That's not what the fans think," I whispered.
Colby sighed, "Baby don't listen to them. They're just a bunch of jealous teenagers."
"Yeah but what if they're right Colby?" I asked sitting up. "W-What if I-I am just some freak w-who's wasted space," I hiccuped.
Tears started to stream down Colby's face.
"Oh y/n, you honestly don't know how much you mean to me."
"Yeah you are a freak," Colby rested his forehead against mine, "but you're my freak and I wouldn't have it any other way."
"The reason I get up in the morning is to see your beautiful face. And the reason I go to sleep is so i can dream about you."
"I don't care what anyone else has to say, you're mine and I'm yours."
"Just forget about all the haters, they don't know the real y/n. Because if they did, they'd know that she was this smart, talented girl who doesn't back down without a fight."
Colby kissed me.
"Your my baby girl."
I kissed him back.
"I'm sorry for breaking my promise," I whispered against his lips.
"Just make sure next time you come talk to me first. I want to be able to be there for you when you need me."
"You already are." I smiled.
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Sorry this was kinda dark... I just wanted to show Colby's caring side.
Comment if you liked it!!!
