Better Than Revenge [Chapters 1-15 Rewritten]

Chapter 4: You're a Man?

Chapter 4: You're a Man?

My mom always told me I acted too impulsively and didn't think things through. I usually denied that claim and tried to prove her wrong, but it turned out moms really do know best.

When I'd first spoken to Christian Ryder on the phone – and, well, essentially roasted him – I'd honestly thought it wasn't a big deal. I mean, how bad could this be?

How bad could this be? Seriously, what was I thinking?

I'd been avoiding social media and the internet in general ever since my little on-screen encounter with Christian. That was probably why I'd failed to notice my shenanigans on Hollywood Tonight had gone viral, at least until Tori sent me the links.

And when I say it went viral, I mean viral. The videos circulating received millions of hits in just one day, along with hundreds of thousands of retweets and shares on social media. Honestly, it seemed great at first. Christian's mortification was reaching a bigger audience, and it was just as funny the second time around.

Then I realized that as these videos became more and more popular, I became more and more popular. Well, not me, per se, but the idea of me: Christian Ryder's Mystery Girl, as I was now being called. The title actually made me kind of want to vomit.

I knew someone was going to rat me out and reveal my identity sooner or later. The name wouldn't last forever. Still, it was irritating to know there was a whole wave of people who knew me as nothing more than that pompous Sasquatch's "mystery girl."

It was only a matter of time before someone who knew me decided they wanted to make a bit of cash by selling me out to the press. I gave it a day before I was discovered.

***

I hoped Tori understood what a huge sacrifice I was making for her. While it was true that I owed her one for not letting me to go to Hollywood alone, even thankfulness wasn't enough to forget about the fact that I was squished between two sweaty, large men who wouldn't leave me alone. They looked pretty alike, except one had a gap-tooth and the other looked like he had just bathed in Cheeto dust. 

"Hey, toots, are those real?"

I looked over at Gap-Tooth with disdain. My boobs weren't even monstrously big, at least not big enough to question whether or not they were real. What the hell was wrong with him? "If you do anything to check or even move an inch, I'll break your hand."

That made Gap-Tooth shut his mouth. Cheeto, not so much. "Looks like we got a lively one over here," he said. "I like that in a girl."

"One look at you and already I can tell that you're the kind that likes anything that's female and breathes," I said, staring straight ahead, hoping if I didn't make eye contact they'd leave me alone.

Cheeto just laughed. "She wants me," he said to his friend, as if I wasn't sitting directly between them and couldn't hear every word they said.

"I bet she wants me more," Gap-Tooth said.

"Do you know what I want?" I interrupted.

"What?" they both asked immediately.

"I want to be able to breathe through my nose again. Is that going to happen anytime soon? No, because this is a four hour flight and you two seem to be unfamiliar with the concept of deodorant. Since my wish can't be granted, your wishes won't be granted, either."

Our conversation was mercifully interrupted by a young girl. She looked to be about nine or ten years old. She tapped me on the shoulder and when I looked over at her, she just stood there and stared at me without speaking.