Just This Once (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 54

#JustThisOnce

Kabanata 54

We were all frozen. No one moved. No one dared to move. We all stood there, watching Parker beg Cindy again. But this time, he was begging her to let him go.

My heart was painfully clenching inside my chest. I feel for Cindy. I didn't want her to get hurt like this. She deserved just as much as everyone deserves happiness...

But what if Mary was right? A decision had to be made... because living a life we regret would be the bigger regret?

Why couldn't love be easy?

"Don't do this," Parker said. I couldn't see his face. All I saw was how he was holding Cindy's hand while kneeling in front of her. Cindy's face was blank. She looked... hopeless.

"Don't try to kill yourself for me. Don't do that. 'Wag 'yun, Cindy."

And as if on cue, tears began to cascade down her pale face. Unti-unti niyang tinignan si Parker. I didn't know if they knew that we were there... but even in the silence of the room, I could hear hearts breaking.

"But you make me want to kill myself," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," Parker said again and again, as if those two words were enough.

"You did this to me before. You're doing this to me again. Akala ko ba alam mo 'yung pakiramdam ng nasaktan? Bakit ginagawa mo rin sa 'kin? Bakit paulit-ulit? Laruan mo ba ko?" Her lips quivering, tears falling.

Sinubukan ko na tumalikod para umalis. This was too much. Everything was too much.

"Don't," Maven said, holding my wrist. I tried to pull my hand from him. I didn't want to see this. "You have to see this," he continued.

Umiling ako.

Ayoko.

"You have too see the repercussions of every decision. This is it, Gen. Someone will get hurt. You have to see this."

Umiling ako.

"Gusto kong umuwi."

He stared at me. "Then you will see Jere. He's one of those repercussions. He loves you."

"Akala ko ba—"

"I won't stop you if you want an annulment. But I want you to consider everything. I'm tired of seeing you regret every decision you made, as if someone pointed a gun at your head."

"Your mom—"

"I know," he cut me off. "You made a decision. At least own up to it. You're the most indecisive person I have ever met. Stop that."

"What do you want me to do? I can't control Parker!"

Tumaas ang boses ko. Napatingin sa gawi namin si Cindy at Parker. Mas lalong bumilis ang pag-iyak ni Cindy. As if seeing me opened the wound.

"You can. You just ignore that you can," Maven said and then nudged his cousins to leave. Para akong natulos sa kinatatayuan ko nang makita kong papalapit sa akin si Parker. I wanted him to stop. To not do this in front of Cindy.

Especially in front of Cindy.

"Gen," he said my name.

My lips parted. Words escaped.

Ginusto kong makapagsalita pero hindi ko magawa. Not with Cindy like that. I couldn't be happy seeing someone go through that pain. I couldn't be happy that way.

"Parker," I said, braving the pain that was about to come. "Wag ganito."

He tried to hold my hand, but I flinched. Not in front of Cindy.