Replace Your Heart // Michael Clifford fanfic

Day Six.

I woke up next to Alyssa who was quietly asleep, she looked really adorable while sleeping, her mouth was slightly open and her eyes tightly shut. She was clinging onto my shoulder and she kind of seemed uncomfortable so I pulled her in a bit, and wrapped my arms around her kissing her neck, which I would never dare to do if she was awake. Something about her makes me so nervous, specially if she's standing too close to me. I wanted to kiss her so bad last night but I couldn't, I was too awkward and scared for that.

I shifted her a bit and got out of bed, I looked around the room and it was way too early to be up, I wondered if I even slept a decent number of hours. Or if I even could sleep knowing that she's right next to me. I walk to my own room and fall onto the bed, honestly, I was exhausted but all I could think of was her. Our conversation from last night. How she really thought about herself, how could she think of herself as a burden? It was awful. It was awful to know what she disembles under a smiling face. Kiara was so right, Alyssa is unpredictable, you cannot say what she does next. She can wake you up at 3am and take you to an empty seat and talk about her life or she can sit alone in her room at 3am and shut you out completely. She was so wonderful. Like something pure and holy, like something I can never be able to replace. She's so wonderful and magical, like something that I've always waited for a miracle. And I know that I like her, way too much than I should have. I like her way too much than I pretend to. I love spending time with her, I love talking to her, I love it when she talks a lot. Something that wasn't just so casual. I was growing fond of her and I want her to know this. She did give me a chance to be a specific trial, a challenge in her life, but I just don't know how to...how to take the first step. I'm such an idiot, I thought. I shouldn't have just said those big, philosophical things which I didn't even understand, I shouldn't have done that when I'm not even sure about myself. I was scared, I am scared. After Bella I haven't really thought about anyone like this, she sure had a thing that would make people get back to her, again and again.

I called Ashton because it would be about noon in Indonesia and I did miss them.

"Hello?" I said into the call.

"Hey, Michael! How are you man?" he cheerfully replied.

"I'm fine, Ashton, how are you?" I smiled and replied.

"Just good, missing you like crazy. Just tryin' to act tough, how are things going in India?" he asked.

"Its all cool, man. Remember the girl I told you about? The wedding has started and I've kind of got involved with her family, so I'm really good," I replied.

"That's nice to hear, I thought you'd never call," he mumbled.

"Why that?" I simply asked.

"I mean.. you've always found me annoying and nagging and I feel you have made friends and you don't really need me,"

"Its not like that, Ash. You're my best friend man, I thought Jackson was way cooler than me,"

"No no, we're just trying to make him feel involved because our first reaction about him was really mean and then you know, the fans are mean to him too,"

"I know, I understand, Ashton... I have a problem," I nervously said.

"Is it that girl?" He smartly guessed.

"How did.. how did you know?" I asked him.

"Its been six days, Michael, the longest you've been around someone,"

"Shut up!" I snapped at him, "its not like that at all,"

"I'm just kidding, obviously, anyway, what about her?" he continued.

"I'm not sure, I mean, she's great, Ash. She's amazing, she's made me get out of my comfort zone and made me do new things. Like dancing in the rain, going for a walk at 3am, watching bollywood movies, and I only want to know her more, but I don't know,"