Prologue

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My dad had always been reserved.

He used to be cheerful, with lips that never failed to show a smile. I remember those horrible jokes he used to tell. Regardless of how bad they were, they always seem to make me crack a smile. He was an introvert at heart who would recharge himself in the tranquillity of the early morning, sipping coffee while his eyes scanned over the news headlines. 

This was until she died.

That messed him up.

I was only six years old, but my memory doesn't fail to remind me of the details of that day as if it had just happened.

It was my first week of primary school, you know? Everything seemed so bizarre, I couldn't believe that I was with the ''grown-ups'' at last. I remember being unable to enjoy my time at school that day because well, I missed mom. She worked in a school in Bloomington, which was like a couple of hours away from where we lived. She couldn't afford to go back and forth daily, so my parents had reasoned that for the time being, coming back for the weekend would have been the best solution.

Dad came to pick me up after school that day. He was a handsome man in his late twenties back then, dad was. According to him, he and mom started seeing each other after Beth, one of mom's friends, organized a high school reunion party. They all used to go to the same high school, but they didn't know the existence of one another until the ''notorious party'' as mom called it.

As he buckled me in the car, I noticed uncle Randy in the passenger seat. Uncle Randy had always puzzled me. He always looked overly comfortable, his calmness could only be placated by the occasional appearance of the cops, which confused me even more at the time. He had many tattoos that inked his body; they seemed interconnected, creeping from the collar of his shirt and curling around his skinny arms. I once got the chance to ask him about one of them, a large white rose on his bicep. He justified it with a sad smile, saying that it was his first one, he had it done after his wife took the kids and left him alone in his uptown apartment.

During the drive home, we played ''spot the object in the streets''. Dad's car was my favorite place to be in, it was incredibly clean, so clean that his friends would tease him saying that mom forced him to keep it in such a pristine state. Everything was in its place; the few CDs in their little shelf, the spare change in a small drawer. If I close my eyes I can almost imagine myself in there again, the seats too big for me and the smell of humid woods and pines hanging in the air.

Behind the wheel, dad made a turn at a roundabout. Usually, on our rides home he would tell me everything about his day at work, he loved seeing admiration in my eyes.

'Daddy?' I had called him. He glanced quickly in my direction, his hazelnut eyes doubters 'How was your day?' my eyes stopped on the black tattoo on his neck; the Greek letter sigma I recalled, as he explained to me many times before.

'Boring' he yawned 'How about yours?'

'I-I ate too much candy' I stated guilty.

'Oh Park, you know that mommy doesn't want you to eat too much candy' he sighed. I remember vomiting everywhere for a good twenty minutes last time I had had too much candy. It didn't seem to deter me from having more back then.

'Leave the kid alone Max, let him enjoy while he can' Uncle Randy laughed.

'What is that supposed to mean?' Dad asked side glancing his friend.

'Oh you know' he shrugged 'wait till puberty kicks in, and he'll avoid certain food for fear of pimples and all that bulls-' Dad cut him off giving him a look.

'Bull what?' I asked. Uncle Randy was ready to repeat but dad punched his forearm.

'Nothing' Dad replied. Uncle Randy just laughed. 'Hey Park look! We are already here!' He exclaimed.

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