A thousand nights

XXV

The first few months of the year passed away like the flipping pages of a photo album.

The more time passed the more I dreaded the end of the school year.

Soon enough I would had to start applying for universities, and perhaps even find a job.

The responsibilities of adulthood were pressing on the tense feeble neurons of my brain.
Overthinking was already a big issue of mine, and now with my future knocking at my doors, I felt powerless and hopeless.

I had no idea of what I wanted to do.

As I've said before, I couldn't picture myself doing anything but being a student for the rest of my life, the mere idea of a profession made me cringe.

When I was five, I remember that the only career that I had in mind was in the aeronautic.

'I'm going to be a pilot' I'd exclaim with my toy helicopter clutched in my left hand.

'What type of pilot Park?' She would ask moving a strand of her auburn hair.

'The one that flies people in the airports' she would laugh at that and make me promise her that I would fly her around on a private plane. And immediately the next day I would end up wanting to be a "flying-soldiers-to-war" type of pilot, as I used to say.
I contemplated my possibilities but nothing seemed to appeal to me. I couldn't live forever as a student, could I?

The London Metropolitan University's student ambassadors were to be held accountable for making me realise this. In an assembly they delivered, they talked about university life, the pros and cons and techniques to adapt to manage a great start of our ''independent'' life.

'Forget what you see in the films, that happens but it ends really bad' Jamie, the student ambassador had said 'you'll just end up begging for money and living off some sub-brand of Doritos' at which everyone laughed.

'Learn to budget your expenses and you'll live through uni without starving, food poisoning and with a social life'

The teenagers around me reeked of excitement. They wanted the freedom, the money and a life dictated by their own rules. It was funny how we all, since a young age, had been left at the hands of institutions to give us the knowledge we need, which actually ignored the basic things we needed to know to be part of a society, like how to find a job, paying bills, critical thinking and politics. These are things that we have to learn at our expense.

And I was terrified.

The whole day my mind lingered at the thought of my future. I tried seeing myself as an accounter, a mechanic, a space engineer - just like Luke's dad - and once again a pilot.

Nothing seemed to sparkle in me a desire of pursuit, not even my childhood dream job.

On my free period, I sat behind a computer next to Hamlin and asked her opinion on the matter.

'I think you'll know what's best for you when the time comes' she said as she typed a few sentences from her Psychology book.

'Now, that's a great advice you know?' I retorted sarcastically 'at this point I'd be better off dropping out of school'

'Shut up, in the meantime get a job at Boots or something, KFC will do as well, they might give you some discounts even' she laughed.

'Hopefully you're not considering to become a shrink' I rolled my eyes 'with such crappy pieces of advice I'd be killing myself right after the first appointment'

'Jeez Park, what's with the dark humor?' she asked raising an eyebrow.

'Well, dear companion, I am panicking because I will end up on the streets if I don't find a career path before September!' I half shouted. Some of the students sitting by gave me a dirty look before turning back to their work.