Tacenda

Chapter Two: Novaturient

Tacenda – Chapter Two, Novaturient

Novaturient (adj.) [“nO-va-‘tUr-E-ent]: 1. Desiring or seeking powerful change in one’s life, behavior, or situation.

 

 

Neither school nor my house were any remedy for me. Months have passed and she still wasn’t awake. It’s the first time I’ve ever saw someone I love—so much—to be in comatose, and it really had to be her.

   Lucas and the others didn’t mind starting small talk to me, since they knew it wouldn’t heal anything. Hence, as selfish as Chleo was, she hit the bull’s eye immediately.

   “Is it true,” she asked, looking at me. Her hands were balancing her body from her seat. I kept my gaze at the empty space on the table in front of me. “About Avery?”

   Don’t remind me.

   My silence must have made her assume a “Yes.”

   “I…” She hesitated for a moment, then corrected herself. “I hope she’s okay.”

   You never even cared about her.

   “It doesn’t matter.” I responded, maybe sharper than I would have intended, but her meaningless worry made me sick. She was only doing this because she needed to, because she’s a member of our group. But, she never really talked to her much. Chleo never really gave her presence any importance, even as a close friend.

   And I’m glad that she understood my sharp remark as another word for “Please just shut up.”

Since I didn’t have anything to do in school, I decided to be brave and go back to the hospital to check on her. I asked for Sarah to come with me, because going alone would make me feel… guiltier.

   I could tell that Sarah had so many things in her mind that she wanted to speak out, but decided not to. I wonder what they were. I wonder if they were obvious thoughts that were better off not saying. But total silence inside the car, other than the noise outside and the engine, didn’t really make me feel any more at ease. I wanted to move from the driver’s seat, to wiggle my body than just moving my arm for the steering wheel to move. I wanted to create some sort of noise, but it would only be meaningless and awkward.

   I turned on the music player, and Say Something started playing. Why, again, did I add this to my USB? I’m not the type to download sad songs, especially songs that would make me feel all emotional.

   ◄◄◄

I looked at her in the eyes, the prettiest pair that I have ever seen in my life. It may be just me, but I could care less.

   That was the moment where I decided, that I would be the only person who’ll love her the most than anybody could, than anybody would ever would, letting her realize on her own how much I loved her, because that’s probably the most sweetest thing a girl could figure out on herself: How much a guy loves her that he would give anything. Because showing is much better than just saying.

   It was after that train of thought that I realized that tears were already welling in her eyes.

   “What? Why are you crying?” I asked.

   “Because,” she explained. “I never knew… I never knew that I would find a guy who would treat me like his princess, or anything special at all. All I thought was that I was this normal, all-for-nothing girl who likes to smile and have fun.”