Lucky Kiss Number 13

Chapter 17

"What are you talking about? We were all best friends, of course we were close. I'm sure they still talk to each other, you can't really throw six years of friendship down the drain just like that."

"You know what? Go have fun, you better leave before you're late."

"Are you sure? You haven't seemed like yourself lately." I gave him a weak nod right before he ran up towards me and gave me a hug before he left. It was going to take be about maybe four hours in order to unpack all of my stuff.

While I started to put some new covers over my bed queen size bed, I heard my phone ring.

"Hello?" I answered while trying to spread the sheets over the bed.

"How's the weather like in Toronto sweet heart? Did you have dinner yet, I just had dinner myself." My mother asked in a chirpy tone.

"The weather's nice mom. I'm just unpacking my stuff and once I'm done, I'll have dinner."

"That sounds nice. How was your trip? Sorry I wasn't able to say goodbye to you." She said. Since she brought up the topic, I couldn't help it but to ask.

"Mom why didn't you send me off today." I asked her quietly as I sat down on the bed, trying to relax for a bit.

"Didn't Drake tell you honey? I had this business meeting-"

"That's just it mom. It's always work. You always put work before me, and I don't understand why since it's not like we need the money. I hardly ever see you at home, and when you are its only because you decided to invite your boyfriend over for a family dinner. Your pretty much non-existent in my life sometimes. Sometimes I really feel alone mom." I hated how much this had bothered me.

"Don't you like the freedom that I give you? A lot of teenage kids your age would love the freedom your freedom that you have." She raised her tone a bit, I knew she was getting angry with me.

"Mom freedom is one thing, but this isn't freedom. Sometime I feel like I'm alone, abandon. Like you're not my mother but just a person who happens to live in the house with me." I knew I was being way to harsh, but I just didn't stop.

"Tessa, why can't you just be thankful and accept what you have? Lately your attitude has been a serious issue. Just because you're mad at the world doesn't mean you put it onto other people."

"I have to go mom." I said bitterly before I hung up on her. I felt streams of tears fall down my face as I quickly tried to wipe them away. For the past few weeks, I knew I was wrong, yet again I was right for feeling this way.

I was currently in a dark place right now. As much as I say that I'm over something and that I was strong, I just wouldn't do this. Every single battle that I fight, I don't get stronger, I get weaker.

I was just confused. My emotions and anger were playing mind games with me. For once in my life, I felt truly alone. I was walking down a path where I had to face obstacles that would make be stronger, except I didn't take it to my fullest advantage and it made me weaker instead. I pushed away a lot of people who cared for me. I led myself down this path. I blamed other people for my problems when I should have been blaming myself.

This was one of moment where I just sat down at the corner of the room just to talk to myself. Of all the people in the world, why can't I just be thankful. Maybe mom was right, I should be thankful. I have clothes, food, money, and a roof over my head. Yet, I wasn't happy. Instead I always dwell on the negatives. There's a million things to be thankful for, yet here I am thinking about all of the negative aspects in my life.

I wiped the tears onto the sleeves of my white shirt. I needed someone to talk to. I didn't want to bother drake or ruin his night. It was way too late to call Chasity since she had dance practice early in the morning tomorrow. So I dialed the one person who I knew would listen to me.

"Hello?" I person said in a raspy but husky tired tone.

"Hey Keaton." I barely managed to say.

"Tessa? It's one in the morning, shouldn't you be asleep? Is anything wrong? Of course something is wrong, why else would you call me at this time. I'll be right over." I could hear him from the other line getting up and out of bed.

"You don't have to come over Keaton. It would take you forever to drive to my house." I tried to lighten up the mood a bit, but my voice was so weak.

"Don't be silly. Your house is like fifteen minutes away, only seven if I drive as fast as I usually do."

A deep sigh had come out of me. "I don't live where I used to live anymore. I'm up in Canada now."

"Oh." The line went dead for a good minute or two. "So you really meant it when you said that you were going to go to university up in Canada. You know that I love you right? I'm sorry that I was a complete ass hole. I was drunk, drunk Keaton isn't so nice sometimes. Kaylenne retold me what happened at the party, even I think I'm an asshole. I know that I don't deserve you and-"

"Keaton. I know how you feel, it's just that I'm not mentally ready for all of this. I called you because I wanted to talk to someone."

"Oh. Can I just say something Tessa, why is it that I feel like the only time you want to talk to me is when you need me because no one else is there?"

"What?" I said in shock.

"I'm sorry that was stupid. Forget what I said. I was thinking about myself, this is your time, not mine. What did you want to talk about?" The awkward silence ended as I finally decided to speak up. "Well I started to have these thoughts on life. Everything just exploded when my mom decided that a business meeting was more important than me."

"I'm sure you will eventually have heart to forgive your mom. Sometimes people can't always be there for you." I thought talking to him would have made me felt better instead, I just uneasy in my stomach.

"You don't understand. She's my mother, this was important to me and she decided not to show up. She's never been to one single game where I used to cheer."

"Well you didn't show up to my final football game where we won championships. I mean you were my lucky kiss, but sometimes things are more important to others. Sometimes we have to compromise in other to make someone happy. I knew passing the exams with above a ninety-five percent average was important to you. Even though playing football is really important to you, I knew grades made you happy-"

"You know what? I'm sorry Keaton, I'm sorry that I wasted your time." I quickly hung up on him as my hands to begin to tremble. What if Keaton was right? Maybe I was being selfish to not only others, but also towards myself.

I hated myself so much right now.

My head was pounding, and my vision was all over the place. I took out the pain killers that I had in my bag. I knew I took way too many, but I just wanted to pain to go away.