269 *furious eyebrow wiggle* darn it! It's no longer applicable. Let's just pretend it is. Did you see that 69? Yeah, man!
By the way, what was your favorite part of the trip? (insert Dora voice right here)
Yoongi was minding his own business when suddenly a thought assaulted him like Jesus on the wheel, spraying his sinful ass with holy water then decking his face with a Holy Bible.
Jimin took his v card!
"Oh my fucking fourth wall breaking ass! We should have established this since chapter one but the author was a bitch!" Yoongi dashed out, the buttplug finally out of his ass and in the ocean.
"Dad! Dad!"
"What is it?" Namjoon was stuffing his face with bread, which Jin specifically told him to give to Jimin and Yoongi but they didn't need to know that.
"I lost my virginity!"
"Spits out crumbs," Namjoon made an effort to spit of the crumbs, it looked fucking unsanitary but hey drama effect.
"Why I never assumed you'd replace the stick up your ass with an actual dick but congratulations!" Namjoon sarcastically clapped his hands, as if he found the news just now. Bitch, I heard since fucking Chapter 5.
"Have some complementary bread. It's free when you lose your virginity!" Namjoon beamed, dimples present in his smile.
"That isn't what I want!" Yoongi yelled, stomping his foot childishly.
"You want a cake? that says 'Congratulations! You're ass was fucked!" Namjoon made pizzazz gestures with his hands.
'Why does everyone think I fucking bottom?! I don't, I can fuck that dog too," Yoongi crossed his arms and pouted, showing off his absolute godlike levels of dominance.
Namjoon looked serious for a second before bursting into loud fits of laughter.
"No, not today! Bitch, you ain't lying to your father," Namjoon did a sloppy z snap, but hey kudos to him for trying.
"I'm not dealing with this shit, you know what I'm going to visit Vkook! Go fuck yourself dad!" Yoongi flashed him a finger and left the house, conveniently being dressed and disguised for the occasion.
"The fuck is a Vkook? Let me ask mama google for a second over here," Namjoon whipped his phone out from nowhere, knocking the plate with crumbs of bread over and the poor plate shattered.
"I'll deal with that later," Namjoon waved it off and focused on his important research.
After a few more searches, "Jin, do we still have that holy water!"
Filler Chapter! Shameful self promo but I has made new story! It's angsty as all hell though. Never mind I know most of you are here for the smut.
