Winter Chill

Chapter Six

Becca had grown several inches since I last saw her. It was scary to think that she might start dating soon. She made sure we were busy every waking moment after I arrived home. There wasn't any real damage to the house or shop so we spent the week before Christmas shopping, bowling, watching movies and helping out at the bakery. I loved being with my family but not being able to talk to Daniel, even just a casual text now and then, was killing me. As much as I tried to pretend I was fine, Becca kept tell me to cheer up so I wasn't fooling anyone.

Mom knew something was going on but she didn't press me. Whenever she asked how I was doing in that 'mom voice,' I knew she wanted details but I didn't know what to tell her. I couldn't explain why I was so depressed without admitting that I might be, well, probably was, gay. And I didn't want to do that if Daniel hated me. I didn't think I'd ever feel about any other person, male or female, the way I felt about him so there wasn't any reason to possibly upset her. Mom and Dad were liberal thinkers and had several gay and lesbian friends but I didn't know how they'd feel about me being among that club. Fuck, I didn't know how I felt about being in that club unless I was with Daniel. He gave me confidence that I never felt about anything. Not even on the court when I shot the winning point. I wasn't into guys or girls. I was into Daniel.

By December 24th, when I finally caved and sent Daniel a Merry Christmas text, I was a wreck. He didn't respond. Confirmation that he hated me. Even a 'Fuck off' text would have been better than silence. I wondered if he would even be willing to room with me. Probably not. I considered switching to a single room to save him the trouble of moving but I knew I couldn't do anything until January so I let it go. Instead, I wallowed in my self-inflicted misery.

Christmas morning came with the usual excitement of gifts and cinnamon rolls and looking through the photo albums that Mom reserved for Christmas and Mother's Day. I put on a polite smile and went through the motions but my mind never drifted from Daniel. Remembering his warm body curled against mine in his bed. His large hands tugging my hair as he pushed his hard cock into my mouth. I picked up my phone to call him at least 10 times that day... but I stopped myself every time. I wouldn't beg. He needed some space and I had to respect that. The best I could hope for was that when we got back to school he wouldn't hate me.

~***~

"Are you sure you don't want to come. It's funner with you." Becca was still begging me to go with her and Dad to the aquarium even as they were walking to the car. It was an annual tradition and something I loved to do but I just couldn't deal with crowds of happy people. Becs wanted to be a marine biologist so she could spend hours at each exhibit. I just wanted to watch TV and vege.

"Sweetheart, can we talk?" My mom snuck up on me with a plate of brownies and a glass of milk. She wasn't playing fair. I guess my time to pout was up and she was expecting answers. I was just desperate enough that I was willing to give them up.

"I guess." I sat up straighter and shifted on the couch so I was facing her. She put the plate between us and sat, cross-legged, facing me.

"What's going on? And don't tell me it's nothing because I know it's something."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I thought about what to tell her. I didn't want to lie but the truth seemed impossible to say out loud. I didn't want to admit that I'd destroyed the first romantic relationship I'd ever had. Even though it was only a single-sided relationship.