takes a bit more • matthew healy

ix.) wine

waking up to an unfamiliar bed feels terribly odd this time around.

charlie and alice are on the sofa watching television in their jammies when i had gone out of the room to have breakfast, but it's late in the afternoon and i'm pretty sure we're about to have lunch anytime soon, so i don't bug them about it and instead settle for a cold glass of water to fill my stomach for the time being.

"oh." charlie sees me as i walk inside the room, and immediately taps alice's shoulder. "princess is awake."

at that, alice grabs the remote and turns off the television. she smiles at me, and that's not normal if alice likes you. she doesn't smile a lot. "you're up quite... late. had a good night's sleep?"

i sit down on the couch across them, putting both my feet up and hugging my knees. "why'd you turn off the television? i wanted to watch—"

"we didn't want you to watch the news." charlie cuts me off, then smiles apologetically. "we're afraid the band might pop up, because they did, actually, this morning to announce a tour or some sort."

alice frowns. "do you want to grab late breakfast?"

"why are you thinking i'm affected with the band?" i press on. "i.. i don't care what happened with me and matthew."

silence. it's obvious i'm lying, for fuck's sake.

"we know you do, rhiannon." charlie sighs. "that fucker took your virginity and had the audacity to spread to the world about it. honey, in-denial is fine. not caring is just not good of an excuse."

"well, thanks." i acknowledge, and before charlie can apologize, i stand up and head to the kitchen to serve something for my own.

there's milk in the fridge and a box of muffins on the counter, but i don't want to consume all of alice's groceries, so i settle for the latter instead; she may be my best friend, but frankly i have manners too. manners that my mum hadn't taught me.

she appears in the kitchen not before long. "charlie baked those last night."

i continue to eat the blueberry-flavored pastry unbothered. "yeah? tell him he kind of crossed the line back there, will you?"

alice sighs, then takes a seat on the stool right across me. "listen, babe, i didn't really get to set house rules when you came in..." she looks around, rather dramatically i might add. "so are you ready to hear them?"

with food in my mouth, i say, "go on."

"well, everything is yours, babe. that's a start." she smiles, and there we go again with her pearly white teeth and the dark red lipstick she always sports. "i have a few men here every few nights, fortunately they can help with the chores, which we will be sharing."

"great, so after you give them sex, they're required to do a household chore, is that it?"

alice nods. "yeah. i'm serious, rhiannon, why are you looking at me like that?"

i shake my head. "nothing. just... quite a nice idea for a one-night stand."

she rolls her eyes, then continues. "i have a stack of weed in my room if you need it, it's not much, but can last us through a night. just don't steal them from me, will you? and you do know i work at the coffee shop a few blocks away, so you're in charge of the place while i'm gone, sweetie." alice winks. "you can bring home anyone you'd like, but i suggest you tell me beforehand so i don't walk in on you having sex or whatever."

"god." i say. "you think about sex a lot. how are we even friends?"

"more do than think." she tells me, and fuck her, because it was exactly what matty had told me just last night, and i quite feel a migraine coming on just thinking about him. i find it mad that last night came to be, and now look at me, living in my best friend's flat because my mother kicked me out. i wonder how she's holding up, or if she's in a state of regret on what she's done. either way, i suppose this is exactly what she's been wanting her entire life; to get rid of me. i don't know exactly how to feel about it.

alice leaves for work around noon, and i walk out of my room after a shower to find charlie spread out on the couch, eating what looks like microwaved popcorn, his eyes glued on the screen.

he meets my gaze. "you still mad at me, rhiannon?"

i smirk. "for telling the truth? i'm glad, really."

"come here." he sits up straight, making room for me on the couch. "let's go ahead and watch this hilarious movie about men and them being absolute twats. check the cabinet for some wine first."

for the next few hours, it's all we do; binge-watching awful yet relatable teen movies and drinking bitter cheap wine from the bottle. it feels quite peaceful for once to be doing this with a friend. charlie's the only gay friend i have, only guy friend for that matter. he's quite annoying at times, talkative and all... a negative opinion's the only thing that comes out of his mouth, really, but it doesn't matter when you have alice and rebecca neutralizing that shit.

"do you think that matty healy guy knows what he's doing when he mentioned your name on live radio?" he asks me halfway through our second bottle of wine. alice is going to flip when she finds out, but it isn't my concern at this point.

i shrug. "who fucking cares. it's not like i'm ever going to see him again, anyway. it could be a publicity stunt for all we know." i get up from my curled-up position on the couch, grabbing the bottle from charlie and taking a sip. "the pictures are out, he needs to play the bad-boy-dates-seventeen-year-old bit for a few days, and after that the world's gonna not care and everything will be fine for runaway rhiannon." i start laughing, because fucking hell, that could be my new nickname, and because the wine is beginning to make me feel a bit of a buzz.

charlie shakes his head. "you're awful at predicting the future, babe."

crossing my arms, i pout. "i'm just trying to be as positive as i can before my world begins to crash down."

i take my nth sip when he replies. "well, you're not the only one. i'm here for a reason."

"and what reason is that?" i frown.

he shrugs, but his eyes are quite gloomy, as if the weather and the situation aren't sad enough. "well. you know cedric, don't you? that hottie in english class? that fucker didn't tell me he didn't want to come out of the closet. we fucked and he pretended i didn't exist." he smiles at me sadly. "we're all a little blue here, aren't we, rhiannon?"

"boys are dicks." i conclude.

"boys are dicks." charlie repeats, and we just start to laugh like idiots who have not laughed in ages, and then the doorbell rings, and charlie offers to get it because it "might be cedric trying to apologize" so he runs to the front door and i'm all alone in the room for quite a few minutes, until he shows up again, this time with someone all too familiar.

i feel as if i have lost all blood on my face.

my heart is beating out of my chest and i'm thinking of ways to escape.

but there's no other way.

i finally get one thing out from my mouth.

"matty."