"Don't go," he said.
"There's too much to see to let this thing called life drop and fall deep", I said. I was shivering bad, hands going numb. So fucking close to losing him.
Pausing, looking at the glow of his phone thinking, "When do I wake up from reality?"
I sigh because I know I can't fix everything.
I sigh because I don't know what to say.
Pushing pressure past my limits after tonight should be a breeze.
Not for him though. He's never free.
Stuck with a condition that I could never feel, nor see.
The wind didn't blow with our farewells but the gust was still felt. Feeling gloomy because I should be offering more.
I should be the one erasing those wild dreams into the void. No, instead im saving one temporarily.
One life.
Another screamed two inches from my head. Said she was dead but couldn't smell the the cause.
Went to a graveyard and saw the scene but not the killers. All that was left was smoke.
It was hazy, but she didn't mind because she held a great big cup of wine in hers.
Did I mention that her cup and his condition shared the same thing?
And the pain was fizzy
And left a burning feeling from the stomach.
Friends now foes while I'm stuck in the middle losing my toes trying to get them to look through some glasses.
They both wanted a divorce last night, they said, "Im giving you my final thoughts thanks for staying but it's time for us to go, because we are stuck to this purple tar and you're sinking too."
Then i yelled, "No! You left your leashes in my brain and all I have left, if you are divorced from this hell, you will be irreplaceable on my shelf. Maybe that doesn't matter, I know you can't care but I have been with you since forever. I soften your step back when you fell and removed your hands from your eyes.
I make it my goal to look at them too, because you both aren't the same and still scream 'FUCK YOU'."
I then take a breath only to realize I have none. I lost it trying to bring them back to life.
They are flopping and alive but for how long? If I set them free they'll hit rock bottom and be left for the sharks. Let them stay where they are at and they'll die from trying.
I tried CPR but that works for the able and the close. They must have a heart and a clean slate. Mines dirty.
Dirty from almost tears and tears that had a mixtape. They were burning so much fuel that they are worn out now.
And those gases are toxic.
I'm trying to save them with a magical faucet, but then when I least expect it I hear a "thank you so much" a "you have always been there for me"
"I love the way you protect me"
But guys, Squiggly is no guardian, you should have sensed this a year ago. There's trust bonds built more reliable than me.
I destroy everything I seek.
Letting go an irrational amount of emotions on others and when the fight is too heated I self destruct before you know it .
Scary deals with strangers always end okay. They want to be someone other than a witnessed freak. When the gavel drops though, I wont ask why.
Instead I ask what made you cry. I won't demand it for I am no army's general. All I do is ask for one thing,
Dont go.
