"Sherlock, what the hell!" John screams causing me to wince.
"What?" I ask pretending to be clueless of my actions. John had brought home his date for the evening and I was not all to happy about it. They came into the flat laughing and I immediately felt my stomach twist in disgust. I hated seeing him with these women, it was just another painful reminder that it would never be me. I would never have John Watson flirt with me, or hold my hand, or ever kiss his perfect lips. I wanted him so bad it hurt knowing I couldn't ever have him. I was so upset that I couldn't stop myself from low key suggesting that his date was just a one night stand, at this his date scolded John and quickly exited our flat. I felt relief that she was gone but John wasn't exactly happy with me.
"Why on earth would you say that?" He questioned and I shrugged.
"I was just pointing out what I saw."
"Well no one asked you to!" John's face was flushed and his hand where clenching and unclenching at his sides. "Every time I bring home someone you have to just go and spoil it! First Sarah, and now this. If you have a problem with me bringing women back to the flat just say so."
"I'm not upset about you bring women back to the flat John." I retort and he groans in frustration.
"Then what are you upset about Sherlock?"
"I-I..." I wasn't even sure. It wasn't my place to lecture John about his girlfriends and I wasn't about to confess my feelings. I was sure that he would just get upset and leave which would hurt more than anything. I could live with know that John was with someone else but I couldn't live without him completely.
"I don't know, John." I say quietly trying to think of what to tell him. His face contorts into confusion and he looks me in the eyes as if he could find the answer in them.
"I guess I was just jealous." I answer truthfully, I was jealous. I was jealous that I wasn't with John. I was jealous that I couldn't have what all of his girlfriends had.
"Sherlock you know you could date any women you wanted to, right? Molly Hooper, Irene Adler?" John suggests clearly frustrated. He thought I was jealous of him, because he got dates with women and I didn't. I wish it were that simple.
"It's not like that John." I say trying to explain to him what I meant.
"Sure it is Sherlock. I'll you have to do is ask a girl out and..."
"I'm not jealous of you John! I'm jealous of the women you bring home!" I shout letting myself slip and he looks at me in shock.
"Why?"
"Because I'm in love with you!" I screamed unable to stop the words from my mouth. I snap my jaw shut and panic fill my whole being. He was going to definitely leave me now, the best thing that had ever happened to me was about to walk out that door I couldn't do anything to stop it. I put my head down in shame trying not to let my tears slip past my eyes lids.
"Your in love with me?" He asks and I nod still closing my eyes. He doesn't say anything after but I could hear him walk towards me.
"Look at me." He whispers and I shake my head, I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see him yell at me, I didn't want to watch him leave.
"Sherlock. Look at me."
"I can't John."
"Why."
"Because it'll just hurt more."
"Sherlock, I..."
"John, please. I already know what you going to say just get it over with." A tear slides down my cheek and I feel his hand on my cheek before he forces me to look at him.
"I'm in love with you too, Sherlock." I feel the air leave my body and I freeze.
"Sherlock?" He asks and I breathe out a shaky breath.
"You are?" I ask and he nods. I feel relief fill my body and I allow him to pull me into a tight embrace.
"Ever since you asked me to go to that bloody crime scene with you." He adds and I chuckle.
"But you said you weren't gay."
"Only because you said you were married to your work, I told you that I wasn't gay to save myself the embarrassment. And technically I'm bi not gay there's a difference." He says and I laugh again.
"I love you John." I say and he pulls my face to met his before placing a kiss to my lips. My mind goes haywire and I melt into him.
"I love you too Sherlock." He responds as we pull away to breathe.
"Dinner?" I ask as we pull away to look at each other.
"Starving." He responds and pecks a kiss on my cheek before leading me out the door.
I finally got my John Watson.
