Get To Know You

Sometimes...

Stevie didn't expect her mood to change like it did, once she said goodbye to Paul. She didn't want to. It was the very beginning of their relationship and it was exciting. Wait, relationship? She shook herself mentally, as she was now on the way back to the Buckinghams'. They were just... sleeping together? No, that didn't sound right either. It felt very much like a relationship, they simply hadn't labeled themselves. Yet.

Once Stevie arrived, she was met by Kristen and Stella. The two had been working in Kristen's gorgeous rose garden, before deciding to take an iced tea break. 

"You look... rested." Kristen finished, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I went to bed exhausted." Stevie smirked, the other women catching on right away. "I haven't slept this good for a long time."

"Must be your own bed." Kristen chuckled, filling up a glass with the cold beverage, giving it to Stella. 

A couple of minutes later, Lindsey joined them. He said hello to Stevie and if she knew him, the expression across his face told her, he felt guilty. About what? 

"Can we talk?" Lindsey asked, his voice softer than it'd been lately.

"Uh, sure." Stevie nodded and followed after him into his studio. 

Lindsey sat down in the spinning chair by the mixing table and Stevie took a seat across him on the leather couch. She crossed her legs, resting her back against the couch, hands in her lap, waiting. 

Something came out from Lindsey's mouth, but it was barely above a whisper. "I didn't catch that."

"I said, I'm sorry." Lindsey repeated, avoiding Stevie's gaze.

"What is there for you to be sorry about?" Stevie asked, thinking, plenty. 

"I've been an asshole to you these past few weeks. You know me, Steph, you know that I get jealous." He heard Stevie scoff, but she didn't say anything, so he continued. "I just didn't expect you to start dating one of my friends."

"We're not dating."

"You're sleeping together." Lindsey shrugged. "Same thing."

Sighing, Stevie knew this had to be extremely difficult for Lindsey. "You do realize, you can't have these feelings, right? Linds, you have a wife, you're not supposed to care who I'm with or even if I am at all."

"I've had girlfriends, I got married, yet, there's still a part of me that loves you, Stevie. I'll always love you to some extent. I can't help thinking, when I see you with another man, that I'd want to be in his place; I'd like to hug you a little closer and hold you a little longer, I'd like to come to you and be able to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear without others thinking it's inappropriate, I'd like to hold your hand sometimes, I... I'd like to kiss you sometimes."

Stevie was speechless. Like Lindsey said himself, she would always love him to some level too, but she never imagined he still thought of all those other things as well. 

"I can't do any of that anymore, that's what I'm sorry about."

When those words escaped his mouth, Stevie hung her head low, hiding her eyes brimmed with tears. She leaned forward, shielding her face with her hands. She then felt Lindsey sit down beside her. His arm tentatively wrapped around her back and he pulled her slightly more to himself, pressing a kiss to her hair. 

"Don't, Lindsey. Please, don't do that..." She asked tearfully. Turning to face him, she sniffled, wiping away her tears. "So, is this how it's always going to be then?"

"Meaning?"

"Because you can't cross that line with me, whenever you see me with someone, you're going to hurt me? I try and laugh it off, all those remarks... but they stick with me, Linds, because I do love you, too. That's just never going to change. It's our heartbreaking reality."

"I never try to hurt you on purpose, Steph, I'm sorry. I just get angry and it gets the better of me, I open my big stupid mouth and say something I don't mean." Stevie laughed through her tears, a glimpse of a smile remaining on her lips. "I'll do my best not to show it, but I can't say I won't feel it." Lindsey shrugged his shoulders. 

"Please, do that at least, because what Paul and I have started, I think it could become something a lot more. I like him, he's good to me. He's exactly the man I need in my life." Stevie's head now rested on Lindsey's chest, his fingers drawing invisible patterns across her upper arm. "And I would really appreciate it if we did this more. Talked. Don't hold it all inside. You can always talk to me, Lindsey."

"Because you can see we're thinkin' bout the same thing and there's no sense in dancing round the subject?"

"Oh, shut up!" Stevie laughed genuinely, nudging Lindsey in the ribs. "Although, I am pleased you know my songs."

"Well, I made you smile, the bruise on my ribs is worth it."

Smiling sadly at him, Stevie shook her head, repeating herself. "Don't..." Lindsey nodded his head in understanding. 

They sat together for a minute longer, just looking at each other. Stevie knew she shouldn't, after all, Lindsey was a married man and they were currently in the house he shared with his wife, but... but maybe it wouldn't do that much harm if it stayed between the two of them.

Stevie leaned in closer and, turning her head to one side a bit more, gently pressed her lips against Lindsey's, lingering for a moment too short. 

"I want to kiss you sometimes too." She said.