Part 15

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As soon as Charlie woke up memories of everything that had happened with his dad flooded through his mind and he audibly groaned as he stretched out. He didn't want to think about that anymore. That was over, or at least as over as he could expect it to be in the near future. Thinking about it incessantly wouldn't help him. Besides, he had better things to worry over right now.

Charlie tossed his dirty clothes into the hamper and got into the shower. The warm water felt good as it washed over him, rinsing away a little bit more of what remained of yesterday's traumatic events. He still felt exhausted, but that would probably linger for a while yet.

Yesterday on the long drive home, he'd had a lot of time to think and had come to one resounding conclusion: he had a crush on Travis.

This probably should have been obvious to him all along, but he didn't really have much frame of reference for the things he was feeling. He hadn't exactly spent a lot of time around other people his own age over the last several years.

Up until now, Charlie had just assumed he had a fixation on Travis. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd emotionally latched onto someone because they were nice or interesting.

This was different, though. For one thing, Travis was his actual friend. This wasn't like the guy who'd remembered his name and given him half a packet of jelly beans, or the woman who'd dug up one of her daughter's old Backstreet Boys tapes for him. Travis was someone he knew and spent time with, not just someone he imagined was amazing based on a few limited interactions.

What had really clarified things for him, though, was the way hugging Travis and then half falling asleep on his chest had made him feel. That... that had been something else. That had been intimate in an entirely new way.

Charlie wasn't sure if he was gay. He liked the firm strength of Travis' arms, the flatness of his chest, his deep voice when he spoke or sang, but maybe if he'd had feminine qualities instead Charlie would have appreciated those just as much. It didn't really matter, anyway. Travis wasn't a girl. He was a guy, and Charlie had a crush on him.

Charlie rubbed shower gel up into a lather on his arm, then drew swirls in the foam with the tip of his finger. He still hadn't figured out what to do about having a crush on Travis.

He couldn't imagine Travis would actually want to date him. Charlie was okay looking, he supposed, but he was pale and scrawny and the way he dressed, the way he moved, the way he spoke... none of it helped.

Travis was cool. Travis was talented. Travis was good looking. He could do way better than Charlie.

He hadn't, though. He was single. So... maybe there was a chance.

Charlie got out of the shower, dried himself off, and dressed in his school uniform. He didn't like the stiff, white button up shirt at all, and he could give or take the black pants. The blue blazer, though, he liked that. It was loose enough on him that it wasn't too uncomfortable, and it had a weight to it that made him feel more secure.

The blue and white striped tie was optional, and Charlie had never once chosen to wear it. Even if he'd felt like having something tight and uncomfortable around his neck he wouldn't have known how to tie it. Travis sometimes wore his, and combined with a blazer that fit him a little better than Charlie's fit him, it looked... fashionable? Was that the word? It had a visual appeal, anyway.

As soon as Charlie stepped into the living room, his grandma gave him a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes. It looked more pained than anything. "You don't have school today, Charlie."

"Oh." Charlie wriggled his toes against the carpet. He liked how it felt, soft and plush and textured. "Does Travis?"

"He didn't mention if he was planning to go or not."

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