Mentors - A Joshler Fic

Chapter 36 - Final Words

Reflecting back on my life so far and how I got to where I am today is incredible. Life is a roller coaster, with all of its ups and downs and loops which are often times unexpected but sometimes are fun and other times sickening. But ultimately that roller coaster ride is so worth it, every loop and hill has been worth it, that I can attest to. I just turned thirty years old last month and when I was fourteen I never thought I’d even see eighteen let alone thirty. 
That wasn’t to say that I didn’t still have my bad days. I did, that’s one thing I had to learn. Depression doesn’t just go away. But I knew how to handle it now, I had my support system and the bad days were far and few between nowadays. I had Josh to thank for that, he got me through everything. Every struggle and hardship that came my way I was able to overcome with his help. 
It was because of Josh’s help that I graduated high school number five in my class rank and as the captain of the soccer team. I got an almost a full ride to the University of Columbus, Ohio. I majored in psychology and now I work as a therapist helping out teens just like the one I used to be. I know exactly what they’re going through, when I see the scars on their arms it reminds me of my own healed scars. I can roll up my sleeves and show them that it's possible to stop hurting yourself that happiness isn’t an unachievable goal. It gives my life such meaning. 
Josh and I have been married for four years, the ceremony was small and intimate, Josh’s family and our friends from college and work were there. My dad came. He had sobered up a shortly after I graduated high school because he’d met a new lady friend and she had kind of forced him to. Allison was a really nice woman, frankly too good for my dad but she really straightened him out. They both came to the wedding and it really made my day. It took a lot of therapy to be able to forgive him but I did and it was nice to have my father back in my life. 
Josh was busy with work, he was one of the most popular teachers at our old high school. He had a way of making kids who seemingly hated English learn to fall in love with reading. When he wasn’t teaching he was coaching the soccer team and they’d gone undefeated last season. I had so many reasons to be proud of my husband. He always told me how proud he was of me and he still helps me so much. He’s my best friend, my lover, and my number one fan. 
We’ve been discussing adoption now for about a year and a half and we just signed the final papers. Our son Chris will be coming to live with us in less than a month just as soon as the final paperwork goes through. I know having a rambunctious three year old on our hands will be a lot of work but I can’t wait. I can’t wait for us to be fathers. Josh will be Papa and I’ll be Daddy. It seems so crazy to think of myself as a father but also so exciting. Brooks has been in the foster system for a year and a half, his mother was some strung out crack addict. He was removed from her after being found to be malnourished. But now he’s a healthy and happy three year old boy with tons of energy. I’m anxious to have him home with us. Derrick and Lorraine are so excited to be grandparents again. Jordan and Hannah have two kids, Josh and I have been uncles to our twin nieces Cristan and David for four years now. 
I want to be able to give my son everything. I want to make sure that he always feels loved and cared for. That he always feels like he can talk to Josh and I about anything and that he never feels the loneliness and despair that I once felt. I know he won’t though, because I won’t allow it. 
If I could go back and talk to the boy that I was at fourteen years old I would give him a hug because god knows he needed a hug. I would tell him that life is worth it and that he is deserving of love and happiness. I would tell him to put down the blades because it’s not worth it. The scars would heal but they wouldn’t disappear, one day you may have to explain the markings on your arm to your son. That’s okay but you’d probably rather not have to. One day you will be thirty years old and so happy. And I am. I’m so happy.
Writing that Chapter Wooo someone is cutting them onions. Welp it's sad to say that's the end of it I loved writing this book i didn't know that this book would boost this far. I feel loved and joyful and listening to this song Wooo all the feels. See you in the next book ^_^