Whispers of the Night

Box of Love

"You were paying." I muttered.

"I- That's not the point." Zak snapped turning away.

"Why isn't it? Huh? You do realised that every woman you ogled in that club last night either has a family to support or is working to get themselves through school?! We all have things we want to do! Nobody wants to be a pole dancer or a stripper!"

"Really? Cause it seemed to me you were enjoying yourself!"

"Then you don't know me! I do it to feed my baby!" I fired back.

Zak laughed shaking his head "Really Let? You're gonna use the mom excuse? If you had any ounce of respect for yourself and had any motivation to be a good mother, you would stop whoring yourself out get a real job. What else do you do in there? Cause I know for a fact that place doesn't just offer a dance! Do you sell yourself as well?!"

I frowned hard "Seriously? You're asking me that?! You know I wouldn't-"

"Know? I don't fucking know you at all! And that's what's hurting me the most here! You were my friend and now you're a fucking whore! Some cheap slut-"

His slating stopped as my hand went across his face in anger and upset. "You think I want to do it! You think I feel flattered at men jerking off over the idea of doing god only knows what to me! You think you know me Zak?! You always have but truth is you don't know me at all because it was always the Zak show! It was always about you and your needs! You stand there and read me the riot act but look who you have dated in the past! Someone worse than we! I dance on a pole and make almost $300 a night to feed and cloth my daughter because her father wasn't on the scene! Granted he didn't know because his psycho of a girlfriend failed to tell him that he has a daughter! But you come here and you shout at me for fending for my own child?! Fuck you Zak! Fuck you and your prejudice bullshit! You don't know how fucking hard it's been! I haven't asked you for a fucking thing either and for my own pride I won't because I don't want to owe you a fucking thing!"

"Scarl-" He spoke coming towards me.

"No!" I shouted backing up. "No you don't know how much I hate that fucking job! How I've just told an 18 year old never to do that job because it makes you feel like shit! But after what you did to me! After how you tore my soul apart when you would lay with me and then move because you had to get back to Holly! Fuck you! You broke my fucking heart everytime and here you are judging me all over again. I hate you! I fucking hate your guts!" I cried sinking to the floor as I my head throbbed.

"Lettie..." He whispered coming down to my level.

I sobbed with my head hung low "You sit on your throne Zak and judge. You wear that crown and sit beside Holly. But remember who would come to you in at all hours, who let you stay over when you brought home a fucking demon, who was there when you fell out with your dad, who held your hand at your grans funeral! It was me and now you're looking at me like I'm a two dollar slut. Just get out."

He shook his head and sat on the floor wrapping himself around me as I cried "I would have done anything for you and you never wanted me. I felt like shit for months and when I was given this beautiful little girl, all I could see, all I can see is you. I do it all for her so that she wants nothing. I do it because I don't want kids laughing at her clothes or picking on her because she isn't clean. Look at this place? Tell me one thing that's not for her? I've gone days without eating so she could have a full tummy every meal time."

"I'm sorry." He whispered holding me tightly.

"No you're not because you're sitting in your castle thinking the world is against you. But try being a single mom who needs to work hours to suit a child. I worked a job in a store Zak, I tried to go the good route but when the manager begins to sexually harass you? I had to go. I'm behind a glass away from harm and earning money safely. What more do you want from me?"