Redemption (Dudley Dursley)

XXVI. Stressed.

There really wasn't a word to describe what was going through their minds. So many scenarios playing back and forth, and occasionally even integrating with one another that it was getting difficult to differentiate reality from imagination. To a lot of people, the former is an incredible thing and is seen as an escape. But how could it be an escape when they had no idea what they had to run away from? Stress was building up more and honestly, if Dudley was asked, he would reply with the truth.

That was what was shocking about the situation because for all his life Dudley has always been someone who wanted people to remain out of his personal life as much as possible, make them think everything was dandy on the outside but inside things were rotting away into nothing. Hopelessness was a feeling he had never really become accustomed to so he had no idea how to go about counteracting these emotions, and it most certainly did not help that he was completely clueless over everything.

Even if he knew one little thing about what was going on and wasn't being kept in the dark.

He couldn't do much but sigh in irritation at this because he was not the only person that was being kept in the dark over everything, they all were. Everyone he had become acquainted with had seemingly been brought together like two pieces of fabric sewn together and there was no breaking away from the seams. Dependency has always been something he hated with a passion, partially because he was doted on so much as he was growing up. Don't get him wrong though, he enjoyed it but at times he felt smothered and this led to him acting out more than he usually did.

This was one realisation he was happy to admit to, because it was no secret that every teenager in the world has had moments like that at some point. At some point, everyone goes through a slightly rebellious phase. The only difference for Dudley was that the stupid phase lasted him for almost seventeen years. Stress does funny things to people, and he had concluded that whenever he was, he constantly thought about the person he used to be and not the person he is now.

Pushing his memories away might have not been a smart move on his part, but he honestly didn't know another way to forget about what happened. In fact, the last time he had spoken to Harry he had told him that it was best to forgive and forget, nothing more and nothing less. With the amount of guilt built up in him though, how could he forgive? Did he even know the real meaning of that word at all?

It's small as well, only seven letters but has so many different definitions. His problem was that it had a very sinister definition to it and he wasn't ready to open himself up. Deep down, he knew this was one of the main reasons that he refused to let people in, because he was terrified of being exposed and then becoming something almost like an animal caged up in a zoo. That was really the only way he could describe the way that he felt.

He really needed to stop thinking things like this.

With the thought in mind, he walked around the house in search for Felicity who had a day off. He had been needed in the office ridiculously early this morning which he had complained about in secret, but he couldn't complain either with the fact that it meant he finished work early. That was a good thing about him having a small business and being his own boss, being able to make his own timeslots up. It certainly made home life easier because he knows from experience from watching his parents that work can drive a massive wedge between a couple no matter how strong or how long they had been together for.

Arguing was something he never liked doing with Felicity, and it certainly didn't help that it didn't take either of them long to get mad. That had to be their biggest flaw without a shadow of a doubt, and it resulted in multiple squabbles over things that weren't even important in the slightest. Over a week had passed since they'd had their last scan and she was now entering her twentieth week. Time has gone by so quickly over the past couple of months and Dudley couldn't deny that as her due date came closer, he got more excited. Each day, some nerves disappeared and was instead replaced with anticipation. However, he refused to let himself get too excited what with everything going on and because being a parent is a stressful thing.